Oktoberfest

While a Weiner schnitzel is often called a sausage, it is always, most definitely, a cutlet. In Philadelphia, Weiner schnitzel is available at Ludwig's Garten, at 1315 Sansom St., where authentic German and Austrian delights are prepared. To make the Schnitzel Sandwich, the pork or veal is pounded until tender, then fried up in clarified butter and white wine. Grab a beer and it's Oktoberfest anytime! LUDWIG'S GARTEN SCHNITZEL SANDWICH 6 oz. pork loin or veal top round 2 eggs, beaten 1/2 cup flour 1/2 cup bread crumbs 2 oz. clarified butter 2 oz. white wine 1 wedge of lemon 3 slices of beefsteak tomato 2 leaves Romaine lettuce 2 slices bread of choice Pound the meat thin with mallet.

The Doylestowns - both the township and the borough - are preparing to usher in fall this weekend with games, food, arts, crafts and continuous toe-tapping music. The township's Oktoberfest in Central Park and the arts festival along the streets of the borough are scheduled rain or shine tomorrow and Sunday. At the Oktoberfest, a children's tent will host puppeteers, storytellers, a magician and musicians. The demonstration tent, a new feature this year, will give visitors the opportunity to watch scarecrow making, pumpkin carving and rug hooking.

There will be dancing to the oompah music of the Kaz Bavarian Band and the downing of a wide selection of brews. This can only be an Oktoberfest celebration, and that's what they'll have Sunday at the Dock Street Brewing Co. Brewery & Restaurant, 18th and Cherry Streets. The celebration will be in high gear from 4 to 8 p.m. No cover charge. Phone: 496-0413. FISHING AT THE NORTH STAR. Trout Fishing in America - an acoustic duo from Houston with an offbeat musical approach - will make its Philadelphia debut tomorrow at the North Star Bar, 26th and Poplar Streets.

Doylestown Township will welcome October this weekend with two days of fun, food, music and rides at its second annual Oktoberfest. Jugglers, clowns, puppeteers and Bavarian and country-western bands will entertain in the township's 108-acre Central Park. Games are a big part of the festival, started last year to raise money for park facilities. Children can participate in a Phillies Home Run Derby, and golfers can compete for a new car in the hole-in-one shoot-out. The park, on Wells Road off New Britain Road, was under construction during last year's Oktoberfest.

Groundbreaking ceremonies are over. Construction has begun. Now, it's time to get down to brass tacks - raising the money needed to equip the township's new 108-acre recreational facility. First up is Oktoberfest '94, a Bavarian-style festival scheduled for Saturday at Central Park, the township's work-in-progress. Games, rides, entertainment and an arts and crafts sale will be going on throughout the day. In addition, the township is offering free shuttle buses to a Doylestown Borough event - the third annual Doylestown Arts Festival.

A few weeks out of every year, Germans try to redeem themselves for being overly efficient and wearing those silly leather pants. They atone by offering everyone who will come all the way to this city all the good beer he or she can pay for. I am referring to the Oktoberfest. This is an event that should not be missed, but I'm sure that many people do. And they probably feel like idiots. The reason is that the Oktoberfest is actually held the last two weeks in September - a trick specifically designed to befuddle American beer aficionados thinking of making the arduous pilgrimage.

Amazed by a maize maze, James Welsh, 8, of Doylestown, climbs up to look at a spider in the cornstalk maze at Oktoberfest in Doylestown Township. The two-day celebration wrapped up yesterday at Central Park in the township.

Two weeks after the Radnor Township Zoning Hearing Board took a knife to Chef Tell's variance to hold an Oktoberfest party, the restaurant owner says he's going to hold it, anyway. "I'm going to do it. . . . The cops won't stop me," Tell Erhardt, still angry about the matter, said in an interview Thursday. On May 15, the zoning board rejected Erhardt's request for a variance that would have allowed him to have a two-day Oktoberfest Sept. 28 and 29 at his restaurant, Chef Tell's of Wayne, on Strafford Avenue.

The Oktoberfest parties are usually fizzling out to a malty memory by the time October's first Sunday rolls around. (Hey, that's today!) But thankfully for all those latecomers in lederhosen, the fest's liquid spirit should continue frothing on draft for some weeks to come, especially at Brauhaus Schmitz, which has had nearly half a dozen fest taps to choose from. For starters, there is Spaten, of course, which is typically the first beer tapped at Oktoberfest and is considered a classic example of the style, with its golden glow and extra malt.

It's October all over the Reading Terminal Market, 12th and Arch. Rick Nichols went foraging and here's what he came up with. Magic 'pumpkin' Maybe you're not going to make it to the pumpkin patch this year. Or maybe you've had it with marauding squirrels picking on your jack o' lantern. In which case, maybe it's time to check out "gourdkins" from Meadowbrook Gourds in Carlyle, rich, autumn-red, and dried to a shell of their former selves. Featherweight, and centerpiece-ready, for Octobers to come.

YOU MIGHT call it the other hair club for men. Beard Team USA is the organizer of the National Beard and Moustache Championship, coming tomorrow to Lancaster. Prizes totaling $5,000 will be awarded in such categories as full beard and groomed beard, partial beard, mustache and freestyle. It's like IFC's "Whisker Wars" come to life! In fact, Jack Passion, star of the reality TV show, will be master of ceremonies. Reigning freestyle world champ Willi Chevalier, of Germany, will be a judge.

* If you live to cook as well as eat, you'll thrill at the arrival in bookstores this month of The Cook's Illustrated Cookbook , a feast of 2,000 "greatest hits" recipes meticulously tested and tenderly illuminated with photos and drawings for publication in that foodie's delight, Cook's Illustrated magazine. The hefty tome - well worth its $40 price but already discounted online - also skims the best of the magazine's advice on foolproofing culinary tasks. A must-have for every cook.

Saturday River to river to you The second annual Philadelphia River to River, Vine to Pine, Rain or Shine, Great 12-Hour Tour is scheduled Saturday at 8 a.m. starting from WHYY Studios, 150 N. Sixth St. near Independence Mall. This free walking tour, led by the Association of Philadelphia Tour Guides, is divided into four consecutive three-hour phases. The first is at WHYY; the second is at 11 a.m. at the Bourse, Fifth Street entrance; 2 p.m. at Philadelphia History Museum, 15 S. Seventh St.; and 5 p.m. at City Hall in the center courtyard.

You can plan now to attend these weekend events, which will occur within a few weeks and are within a day's drive of Philadelphia. Connecticut. Harwinton Fair in Harwinton, Oct. 1 to 2, harks back to our Civil War past with Americana-themed events such as pig racing, women's skillet throw, and an antique tractor show. Adults $7; children 12 and younger free. www.harwintonfaire.com . 860-485-0382. Maine. Swine and Stein Festival in Main Street, Gardiner, Oct. 1. Celebrate the diversity and quality of Maine craft beers and the culinary versatility of local pork through tastings and dishes, with music and merriment.

PHILADELPHIA MIGHT be the best beer-drinking city in America, but we're the wurst-eating city, too. Grilled bratwurst, paprika-spiced bockwurst, smoky knackwurst, mustard-covered weisswurst and jerkylike landjäger - along with liters of German lager, these are the staples of Oktoberfest. Or, as Doug Hager, co-owner of South Street's Brauhaus Schmitz declares, "Throw away your knife and fork . . . Wurst may not be very refined, but it is manly. " The other day I sat down with Hager and his executive chef, Jeremy Nolen, for some "frank" talk.

AFTER A WEEK plagued by an earthquake, hurricane and the loss of Joey Vento, who took the cheesesteak recipe to his grave, Philly hardly needs an excuse to drink. So let's just say that, looking at the beerscape ahead, we're in for a unique array of foam-filled diversions. Mark your calendars: There's a month of blues, barbecue, Bavarians and a battleship ahead. Enjoy a cold one while you . . . *  Wear your lederhosen. One of the area's most authentic Oktoberfests is this weekend at Northeast Philly's Cannstatter (9130 Academy Road)

McGillin's Olde Ale House has already turned its taps over to the Germans for the month. Brauhaus Schmitz has plans to shut down South Street for a pig roast with an oompah band. And local Oktoberfest lagers, from brewers like Victory and Sly Fox, are currently flowing at watering holes around town. As Philadelphia embraces all things beer, it was only a matter of time until we saw the Hallmark-ization of Oktoberfest, with more celebrations starting earlier, getting bigger and lasting longer, and more local brewers joining the party.

Special Events 2010 Manayunk EcoArts Festival Celebration of artistic, sustainable & local green initiatives. Manayunk Main Street, www.manayunk.com/manayunk-ecoarts-festival . Closes 9/26. Oktoberfest Traditional German food and Oktoberfest beers. McGillin's Olde Ale House, 1310 Drury St.; 215-735-5562. Closes 10/2. Pennsylvania International Week Trade representatives meet with local businesses to discuss export/trade opportunities. Union League of Philadelphia, 140 S. Broad St.; 215-586-4240 Ext. 117. 9/29.