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ENTERTAINMENT
March 5, 2013 | By Carolyn Hax
Adapted from a recent online discussion. Question: I've recently started dating someone who is much less communicative than I am. I think we like each other, but is this a red flag? I tend to be an over-communicator, so I'm not sure if my way is really the correct way to do things, so I'm hesitant in ending some- thing over a differ- ence like this. Answer: The thing is, there's no "right" way to commu- nicate except to be honest and true to yourself. If you feel happier and more fulfilled around people who share your emotional style, then don't apologize for that - heed it, and know you have every right to break up with anyone who doesn't feel like a good fit. If you're naturally outgoing, then don't apologize for that, either.
ENTERTAINMENT
November 24, 2012 | By Carolyn Hax
Adapted from a recent online discussion. Question: As someone who's been there, done that, when do you think that being a parent gets a little easier? We have a wonderful 15-month-old and he is the light of our lives, but those lives are harried (along with some physical challenges - my husband is an amputee). We would in theory like to have another baby, but could just use some wisdom. Any advice? Answer: I never do this, but I'm going to: Five. That's the age when your ball of need stops being a toddler and starts being a kid - someone who can actually help out a little bit and just fry your brain less.
ENTERTAINMENT
July 28, 2012 | By Carolyn Hax
Adapted from a recent online discussion. Question: I may just need a swift kick ... but, I have a friend who constantly bails at the last minute. I am OK with being the one who puts in the effort and always know when I make plans that she's going to bail, so I'll probably end up with a nice evening to read/watch a movie/whatever. Well, I'm getting married, and have invited her to my wedding. When a mutual friend of ours got married, she RSVP'd yes but didn't show. My bridal shower is tomorrow and she canceled today.
ENTERTAINMENT
September 4, 2012 | By Carolyn Hax
Adapted from a recent online discussion. Question: Last night my husband of 15 years, and father to my three kids, told me it had taken him a long time to figure out how he felt about his flirty, hot (and newly single!) female work friend, but he knows now that I am the only woman he wants. He thought this was a loving thing to say to me, and tried to smooth things over when he saw my shocked reaction, and then he went to sleep. I stayed up half the night sad and angry that apparently he feels no commitment at all to me. If he meets the right woman, he'll be out the door, but in the meantime I should be perfectly happy to be the placeholder.
ENTERTAINMENT
February 19, 2013 | By Carolyn Hax
Adapted from a recent online discussion. Question: My husband eats lunch with coworkers every day. I joined them out recently and one of his single, female coworkers began eating off his plate. When I noticed, she snatched back her hand. My husband is pretty familiar with his coworkers, but I'm sure he would be livid that a single, male coworker was eating off my plate, especially if it appeared to be a habit. I'm not worried even remotely that he's cheating on me (and wouldn't read this as evidence he was)
NEWS
February 4, 2013 | By Carolyn Hax
Adapted from an online discussion. Question: Last fall you had a column about a high school perfectionist who could have been me. I'm now in my 30s and long since healed thanks to great friends, an amazing therapist, and a lot of time. But I'm afraid my own daughter will go through what I went through. I can remember feeling guilty about letting people down when I was a toddler (although high school is where the pressure compounded into an eating disorder). As a parent, how do you see that and offer help . . . preferably long before it reaches such a crisis point?
ENTERTAINMENT
December 12, 2012 | By Carolyn Hax
Adapted from a recent online discussion. Question: I am a 32-year-old, married-with-children, educated professional who on outward appearances should have no reason to be miserable. However, I am. Some recent events have triggered deep self-esteem issues that were probably always with me but now I can't seem to get over. I feel I am unlikable, unlovable, and that no one really cares about me. I am possessed by irrational thoughts that I am worthless. No one in my life really seems to be able to help me move forward.
ENTERTAINMENT
June 28, 2012 | Carolyn Hax
Adapted from a recent online discussion. Question: I know you usually advise readers not to sit around and wait for a significant other … long-distance relationships stink. I get that. Does the advice change if the significant other is headed to Japan for a year (so, a definite endpoint) and really seems dedicated to making it work, with regular flights back to the States, waking up early to phone/Skype, etc.? I really like this guy — we've been dating for two years, and have grown very close — but I also don't know if I'm taking on too much if I choose to wait for him, and I get that waiting around isn't usually a good idea.
NEWS
October 22, 2012 | By Carolyn Hax
Adapted from a recent online discussion. Question: My mom and I are incredibly close, and we talk about everything. However, we kind of clash about one big thing: whom she dates. She tells me all about what kind of guy she likes and how she wants a man who complements her lifestyle (classy and adventurous), yet she keeps bringing home losers - there's really no better way to put this. I mean, these guys are everything she said she doesn't want, and if my boyfriend were like this, she would have nothing to do with him. They're typically way older than she is, not adventurous at all, not classy at all, not nearly as intelligent or attractive as she is. She dressed up for a date, and one time the guy wore a windbreaker . I would care a lot less if she was just casually dating, but she keeps talking marriage with these guys and then saying what a loser each of them was after they break up. In the past, I've been very forthcoming about my feelings and it would hurt her, so my new method is to stay out of it. But I'm worried that if I don't tell her something, she'll end up marrying one of these guys and then will end up unhappy (signs she shows while they're dating)
ENTERTAINMENT
November 22, 2012 | By Carolyn Hax
Adapted from a recent online discussion. Question: I've been trying for a few years now to maintain a friendship with my ex from high school. We're in our late 20s now. He's not a bad guy, and he talks a lot about how much I mean to him, but in practice, he seems completely uninterested in the "being friends" part. He does things that really bother me, seemingly on purpose; for example, he makes uncomfortable comments about my appearance, starts arguments with my husband, attacks our lifestyle, and takes my picture when I've explicitly asked him not to. A couple of times I've confronted him about how alienating his behavior is. He won't acknowledge any wrongdoing but also refuses to give me any distance because of how "important" I am to him. I'm at wits' end. It's like he views my friendship as a trophy for how nice and well-adjusted he is as opposed to a relationship requiring work and respect.
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NEWS
August 15, 2013 | By John Timpane, Inquirer Staff Writer
If you're an Internet troll, you may feel a little put-upon right now. Used to be you had a home. You could always find an online discussion to muck up with a disruptive, offensive, or off-point rant. Some sites - like celebrity-gossip and sports venues - even welcomed the snark, the rough-and-tumble, the occasional hater. Under the anonymity granted to most commenters, trolls have hidden in the bushes as long as there's been a Web. But that is changing. To raise the level of talk, more and more online newspapers, blogs, and other websites are instituting anti-troll measures.
ENTERTAINMENT
March 26, 2013 | By Carolyn Hax
Adapted from a recent online discussion. Question: My husband and I have recently moved closer to our families, and a problem that was minor has now become larger. When I was growing up, my mother assigned "roles" to me and my sisters (e.g., the good student, the social butterfly, the independent one) that were somewhat based on our personalities, but I believe were a shortcut for her to figure out how to deal with us. We've all spent a lot of time as adults breaking out of these roles, and in many cases, when my mother's ideas have clearly been superseded, she still will just not give them up. For example, I was always the chubby sister, and now even after I have lost weight and kept it off, she still treats me that way. She is now doing this to my children, and it's driving me nuts.
ENTERTAINMENT
March 26, 2013 | By Carolyn Hax
Adapted from a recent online discussion. Question: When I was 16, I came home to my mom sneaking out of our house with her belongings and my younger brother. She was leaving my stepdad, and me, too. She left us a note on the kitchen table. After watching my stepdad go through the motions of moving out and not asking me to go with him, it became clear I was on my own. I called relatives, and the consensus was it was none of their business. After years of no communication, I called my dad, and he let me move in with him. Come to find out, he was a nice person who made me feel wanted for six great years.
NEWS
March 15, 2013 | By Carolyn Hax
Adapted from a recent online discussion. Question: I'm a high school junior and I hate it. I am not bullied, but I don't have a lot of friends and the whole thing is just ridiculous. I am already taking a few AP courses and finally talked to my guidance counselor today about graduating early. He said I can if I really buckle down, take on some independent study, and do one GED requirement class online. School is pretty easy for me, and I don't have any other distractions.
NEWS
March 8, 2013 | By Carolyn Hax
Adapted from a recent online discussion. Question: Long story short, my boyfriend of over a year broke up with me three weeks ago. For a few reasons, our "future" is up in the air while he figures his issues out. This is where I'm having my own issues, aside from being pretty devastated by the breakup itself. While I would be so happy to be back together right now, I'm trying to deal with things as if we are broken up for good. The only way I know how to deal with that is to completely cut someone out of my life, though.
ENTERTAINMENT
March 5, 2013 | By Carolyn Hax
Adapted from a recent online discussion. Question: I've recently started dating someone who is much less communicative than I am. I think we like each other, but is this a red flag? I tend to be an over-communicator, so I'm not sure if my way is really the correct way to do things, so I'm hesitant in ending some- thing over a differ- ence like this. Answer: The thing is, there's no "right" way to commu- nicate except to be honest and true to yourself. If you feel happier and more fulfilled around people who share your emotional style, then don't apologize for that - heed it, and know you have every right to break up with anyone who doesn't feel like a good fit. If you're naturally outgoing, then don't apologize for that, either.
NEWS
March 4, 2013 | By Carolyn Hax
Adapted from a recent online discussion. Question: I want to try for another baby; my husband doesn't. We have two beautiful children and a happy family, but I always wanted more. We started later than planned, and we're both late 30s, so he's concerned about health risks (mostly for the would-be child), being that much older when the child graduates high school, etc., and to a lesser extent, the additional stress, strain on finances, etc. If I really, really pushed, I know he'd give in - he has said as much - and I know that's not right.
ENTERTAINMENT
February 28, 2013 | By Carolyn Hax
Adapted from a recent online discussion. Question: I have never been skinny, but have gone up and down in weight over the last couple of years. I am fun, smart, have a good job, and am a size 14/16. I dress well and have a ton of friends who like me. The problem? My husband of seven years, partner of much more. He always makes weight and exercise comments to me. And whenever I tell him how much it hurts or bothers me, he says I am scarred from my childhood and I am unable to have a talk about my weight or exercise without getting upset.
ENTERTAINMENT
February 27, 2013 | By Carolyn Hax
Adapted from a recent online discussion. Question: My amazing, wonderful fiance made what he has referred to as "a very bad decision" and got married at 20, while he was still in college. He was divorced by 23, and not amicably. We met and began dating a few years later, and he was very open about it from the get-go. Throughout our four-year relationship, the fact that he was briefly married has barely registered as a blip on my radar; people make mistakes. But suddenly, now that we are engaged and beginning to plan our wedding, I can't seem to stop dwelling on the fact that he once publicly promised to spend his life with someone else.
ENTERTAINMENT
February 19, 2013 | By Carolyn Hax
Adapted from a recent online discussion. Question: My husband eats lunch with coworkers every day. I joined them out recently and one of his single, female coworkers began eating off his plate. When I noticed, she snatched back her hand. My husband is pretty familiar with his coworkers, but I'm sure he would be livid that a single, male coworker was eating off my plate, especially if it appeared to be a habit. I'm not worried even remotely that he's cheating on me (and wouldn't read this as evidence he was)
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