Pie

Tuesday's attempted pieing of Rupert Murdoch during his testimony to the House of Commons was an outrage. As it was meant to be. It was also a failure. The assailant, stand-up comic Jonathan May-Bowles, or "Jonnie Marbles," got more shaving cream on himself than on Murdoch. He was restrained by bystanders, including Murdoch's wife, Wendi Deng, who has emerged a heroine, a stand-up woman. May-Bowles has emerged with shaving cream on his face. (He was charged Wednesday with "behavior causing harassment, alarm or distress in a public place.

If you want to serve a memorable Thanksgiving dinner, but are afraid of breaking with tradition, get creative with dessert. Purists may demand a token pumpkin pie, but experimentation is more likely to be tolerated at the meal's finale than it is if you start messing around with the main course. Most families want, indeed demand, turkey, sweet potatoes, stuffing, cranberries, etc. And while they may put up with one exotic vegetable dish, there's likely to be a mutiny if you try substituting couscous for cornbread stuffing, or kumquats for cranberries.

This is a poem made of quotations from George W. Bush. They have been arranged, for aesthetic reasons only, by Washington Post writer Richard Thompson. I think we all agree, the past is over. This is still a dangerous world. It's a world of madmen and uncertainty and potential mental losses. Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning? Will the highways of the Internet become more few? How many hands have I shaked? They misunderestimate me. I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.

Over at the Society Hill Playhouse the other night, Tom Tansey had his lines memorized. They were not many, but his role was a critical one. "This is your ticket for the show," he said, with a practiced cadence, adding quickly: "We're not quite done with you yet. " Then the narrative turn: "This is your ticket for your pie, which you can get right behind me. " And the denouement: "This is your ticket for your pint, which you can...

It was a recent tour of Pennsylvania Dutch (which is to say, German) household objects at the Philadelphia Museum of Art, chiefly a wall of 200-year-old fired-clay pie plates, that put me in mind of sharp-tongued Verna Dietrich. The guide had taken care to note that these particular plates, etched with tulips and stags and Prussian-ish double-headed birds, were show pieces, most likely delivered with a pie on board, but not used in their daily baking. The more utilitarian pieces typically didn't last: Pennsylvania's early German settlers were so smitten with pie - with the bountiful fruit trees and farms of their own - that they could apparently down a pie or two with every meal.

How loose are these Phils? Loose enough that Pete Incaviglia, sitting in front of the dugout for a television interview, was the victim of a sneak, pie-in-the-face attack by Curt Schilling before last night's game. Schilling tiptoed from behind and - splat! Boys will be boys, especially when they're leading the league. Still, Incaviglia had plenty to be happy about. He could raise his right arm again, the stiffness resulting from his Wednesday night collision with Mickey Morandini having disappeared.

This spring, a nice Key lime pie would really hit the spot. To make Key lime pie, you'll need some Key limes. As the name would suggest, this citrus fruit is grown in the Florida Keys, as well as in Mexico and the rest of the Caribbean. In fact, the production of Key lime juice is the major industry on the small island of Dominica. There are at least eight factories that extract Key lime juice and export it to England, where it is bottled by I. Rose & Co. as the world-famous Rose's Lime juice.

Watch the squirrels, fat as cats, cramming in one more calorie, searching out the last acorn, hoarding before the onslaught of winter. Seeds, grains, even a scrap of bark will do in a pinch, but the real prize is a nut. A walnut, chestnut, acorn or filbert, packed with protein, starchy sweet and rich with the most fragrant oils in nature. Nuts are treasure chests of flavor and nutrition. We're doing it, too - stockpiling reserves in the larder and a few extra pounds 'round the middle before winter hits.

Oscar de la Renta took a pie in the face from an animal-rights activist last week as he did a promotional appearance for his perfume line at a store outside Portland, Ore. "Shame on you for using fur," shouted Alison Green as she smashed the designer's face with a tofu cream pie. A police spokesman, who said Green may be cited for disorderly conduct, said de la Renta "cleaned up and came right back and continued signing autographs. " STEWART PORT The Los Angeles board of supervisors Wednesday voted to rename Los Angeles International Aiport after the late actor Jimmy Stewart.

NEW YORK - There are a number of theories on why Blue Bloods has been able to carve out such a substantial audience on Fridays, a night when viewers are hard to come by. Some say the CBS series, now in its second season, is attracting an average of 13.6 million viewers because of its stellar cast, headed up by TV royalty, Tom Selleck. Some say it's the gritty, streets-of-New York crime stories. The sentimental majority opinion holds that it's the show's weekly dinner scene, during which four generations of Reagans - presided over by the patriarch (Len Cariou)

1 tablespoon plus 2 teaspoons olive oil 1 pound Mexican pork chorizo, skins removed 1 white onion, diced 6 cloves garlic, minced 1 tablespoon each: ground ancho chili, sweet paprika 2 teaspoons ground cumin 1 teaspoon ground chipotle pepper 1/2 teaspoon each: thyme, ground allspice 1/8 teaspoon ground cloves 1 teaspoon salt 2 pounds boneless, skinless chicken breasts, cubed 1/2 cup...

A stalled redevelopment plan that is subject of a federal civil rights lawsuit is moving forward on two fronts - but just barely. Mount Holly officials now say they want to settle, rather than fight, with the residents of a blighted area who had sued to keep from being evicted. The residents, who are mostly minorities, claimed the town's plan to raze their homes and build apartments for wealthier people was discriminatory. Officials now say they plan to offer affordable replacement homes to the more than 20 holdouts.

1 cup (2 sticks) cold, unsalted butter, plus additional for greasing the dish 2¼ cups (12.5 ounces) all- purpose flour, plus additional to flour the counter and the dish 2 teaspoons apple cider vinegar ½ teaspoon salt 1. Cut the butter into small squares and combine with the flour in a stand-mixer bowl. Using your hands, toss the mixture to coat the butter in the flour. Put the bowl in the freezer. In a measuring cup, combine ?

NEW YORK - There are a number of theories on why Blue Bloods has been able to carve out such a substantial audience on Fridays, a night when viewers are hard to come by. Some say the CBS series, now in its second season, is attracting an average of 13.6 million viewers because of its stellar cast, headed up by TV royalty, Tom Selleck. Some say it's the gritty, streets-of-New York crime stories. The sentimental majority opinion holds that it's the show's weekly dinner scene, during which four generations of Reagans - presided over by the patriarch (Len Cariou)

ROB RYAN unsheathed his sword, planted the hilt in the ground at his feet and, with all of his considerable might, fell on it. The Eagles shredded Ryan's defense last night for 495 yards, almost 200 more than the Cowboys' average as the NFC's stingiest, and 21 more points than usual. The 34-7 final actually might hide exactly how well Andy Reid and his Eagles prepared to carve up the Cowboys. "It all comes down to coaching," Ryan said. "Andy Reid was reading my mail. He kicked my ass. I've got to be smarter than this.

Over at the Society Hill Playhouse the other night, Tom Tansey had his lines memorized. They were not many, but his role was a critical one. "This is your ticket for the show," he said, with a practiced cadence, adding quickly: "We're not quite done with you yet. " Then the narrative turn: "This is your ticket for your pie, which you can get right behind me. " And the denouement: "This is your ticket for your pint, which you can...

Theater 1812 Productions: Mistakes Were Made Philadelphia premiere featuring Scott Greer. Closes 10/30. Plays & Players Theatre, 1714 Delancey Pl.; 215-592-9560. 1812productions.org. $20. A Play, a Pie & a Pint See several one-act plays from U.S. & U.K. playwrights while enjoying a slice of pie & a drink. Closes 10/26. Society Hill Playhouse, 507 S. 8th St. $15. All Hands on Deck! Four performers & a backing orchestra present a lively mix of popular & patriotic '40s tunes & comedy bits.

Baby pies are the newest dessert trend, and with this kit, you can make them at home. The package comes with four pans and a dough cutter, so you don't have to guess which size to cut the tops and bottoms. Chicago Metallic Pie Mold, $24.95 at Sur La Table, surlatable.com.   - Ashley Primis

PITTSBURGH - If the fallout from Michael Vick's GQ interview and the subsequent loss to the Pittsburgh Steelers prove anything, it's that the Eagles will be in the crosshairs. "That comes along with the territory," Vick said after Thursday night's 24-14 preseason defeat. "But we accept that challenge. It's not going to be easy. Each and every Sunday, it's not going to be easy. "This is a tough game, and every week you've got to bring your "A" game, and if you don't, you're going to be embarrassed.