Pigs

GREAT news: the SUV backlash has begun. We've always disliked the fact that sports utility vehicles are so big and dangerous (consumers believe they're safe, when they're anything but) and that they guzzle gas. But now, with war looming, and our dependence on foreign oil increasingly problematic, driving an SUV today is downright unconscionable. That's why we support a recent bill introduced in Congress, by Sens. Diane Feinstein and Olympia Snowe that would raise the standards for fuel efficiency in SUVs.

City Council President Joseph Coleman's attitude and the actions of Council in overriding the veto of the recent pension bill can be described in two words: Oink, oink. Gilbert A. Levy Philadelphia.

Skippack farmer John W. Hasson stood ankle-deep in mud, pumping milk into a wooden trough as his pigs, squealing and grunting, snouts quivering, climbed over each other to get to their feed. Hasson inhaled deeply. "Does that smell sour to you? That's what they call noxious fumes," he said with a sniff toward his new neighbors, Ironbridge Estates, a subdivision of two-story colonial houses costing $200,000 plus. Ironbridge's developers say Hasson's farm smells. And his 250 pigs squeal too much.

What's the story with those French truffle pigs? If they like truffles so much, how come they don't just eat them? What's stopping them? What's stopping them from saying to those French truffle farmers, "Buzz off, monsieur, I saw it first," and then snarfing them down? I'll tell you what's stopping them. Muzzles and leashes and whaps on the snout with a knobby walking stick. That's what's stopping them. How would you like it to be your portion in life to constantly be searching for the yummiest thing you can think of, the thing you want the most, and then every time you find it, someone schleps you back with a jerk, snapping your head probably and whapping you on the nose for good measure, and then takes it for himself?

Somebody's finally packed up Thomas Kaden's potbellied pork and taken it away. The last four members of a nine-pig family that township officials deemed a nuisance to neighbors have been removed from their quiet suburban home, Upper Dublin Zoning Officer Jesse Hayden confirmed Friday. "The roosters are still there, but the pigs are finally gone," Hayden said. "All he's got to do right now is get rid of the chickens, and we're all happy. " Upper Dublin officials filed papers in Montgomery County Court two weeks ago demanding that Kaden pay the $1,750 in fines levied against him two years ago, when a Common Pleas Court judge ruled that Kaden's pigs were illegal under zoning laws.

The one-vehicle rush-hour accident on the Route 30 bypass yesterday morning would have qualified as routine - but for the porcine passengers. State police said a tractor-trailer carrying 100-plus porkers took the ramp for Route 202 in West Whiteland Township a little too swiftly, hitting the side of the bridge and tipping onto the guardrail. Neither pigs nor people were injured. Motorists were delayed - but not hamstrung - by the 6 a.m. crash, said police, who closed the ramp for about two hours and detoured traffic to the Frazer exit, where drivers could access 202. Trooper John Hanosek said the closure was necessary so the swine could be transferred from one tractor-trailer to another, a process that strained the senses for about an hour and a half.

ALLENTOWN - The Lehigh Valley IronPigs rode three home runs Thursday night to a 4-1 victory over the Rochester Red Wings in the International League. Cody Ransom's two-run shot in the second inning provided all the runs starter Nate Bump would need. Scott Mathieson pitched two shutout innings for the save. Dewayne Wise and John Mayberry both hit solo homers in the fourth. Trenton 4, Portland 2 PORTLAND, Maine - Damon Sublett stroked a two-run homer in the top of the 11th to give the Thunder the Eastern League win. Eric Wordekemper struck out the side in the bottom of the inning to get the save.

All right, gentlemen, you win. Yes, you can tell me I have a real pair of knockers. While I'm typing your memos, you can describe to me what sexual acts you'd like to watch or perform and with what implements. Go ahead, play professional sports, and take out a beauty queen. But don't bother to listen to her; threaten her until she listens to you. You are men, it's your world, you can be president and we can't, so why complain? Give me another understanding editorial about how the victim, the poor victim, needs support, needs to be heard.

On permanent replay deep in every psyche are phrases like: Clean up your room! Cut the lawn! Stop that noise! And our favorite: Have you made up your bed? Nagging may be the reason we don't all live like pigs. But it's no fun to listen to - or to deliver. Now, thanks to the creative divorced mother of a lethargic 11-year-old, parents have a new tool to shift kids from idle into overdrive - while saving their breath, except to say "Oh, sweetie, your room looks lovely!" Under the name Harper - for "harping" rather than "nagging" - Rowena Starling of Berkeley, Calif.

Harlan Keener makes a good penny from the stink in his pig manure. He ferments the manure, burns the gas to make electricity, and sells it to Pennsylvania Power & Light. "I have an extra harvest," the Lancaster County pig farmer says. "I harvest BTUs. " And compliments from neighbors, he says, for keeping the stink down. Keener, it seems, is part of a trend. Pork producers here and elsewhere are trying to lessen that inevitable stink - paying researchers to study what goes in one end and what comes out the other.

TRENTON — Before they delved completely into the budget, lawmakers took some time this week to talk about sharks, tigers, and pigs. The Legislature is considering bills to ban the sale of shark fins, require aggressive monitoring of captive tigers, and keep pregnant pigs out of restrictive crates. The shark-fin bill generated the most controversy. It would force New Jersey fishermen to throw away shark fins rather than sell them. Supporters of the bill hope it will help stifle the shark-fin market, which has led to a practice called "finning," in which fishermen cut fins from live sharks and toss the animals back into the ocean to die. Fins are prized for shark-fin soup, a Chinese delicacy served at weddings and celebrations.

It's a Sunday in March, and Rich Thompson is a major-leaguer again. He's swinging in batting practice and Charlie Manuel's eyes follow every ball Thompson hits deep to right field. Hitting coach Greg Gross mimics the Phillies manager. No one says a word, and the 6-foot-3 outfielder who last season led the International League in runs scored keeps hacking. In the Phillies clubhouse, Thompson eats lunch at a table with Jimmy Rollins and John Mayberry Jr. He waits an entire game and finally his name is called.

Two coming sales will feature lesser known collectible categories: Lenci dolls and pottery pigs. The Lenci dolls will be featured by Alderfer Auction & Appraisal at a two-day sale March 27 and 28 titled "The Ladies That Traveled" at the gallery in Hatfield. The top 270 items, including five authentic Lencis and a reproduction, also will be offered online beginning at noon March 28 by www.Artfact.com . Lenci dolls were first made in 1918 in Turin, an industrial city in Italy's mountainous north that had a strong German influence.

LOOK AT the picture of Mark Fiorino in the Feb. 14 Daily News . That gun doesn't make him look like a big man. If the bad guys see your gun, no surprise to them; they will take your big new Glock to use with their cheap Saturday- night special .32. or .22. Hide your gun. Surprise is the best defense, old buddy. Do not give away your gun. What if someone is in trouble and thinks you are a police officer? Do you help them? You are not a cop. Get on the force; then you can show off your gun all you want.

ST. CROIX, U.S. Virgin Islands - Hot and sweaty after a long humid day visiting the northwesterly portion of St. Croix and the overflowing Virgin Islands Sustainable Farm, we rumbled past luxuriant foliage, little huts, verdant fields, and the occasional mongoose carcass in the road. Jane, our guide, abruptly pulled her dun-colored SUV into an unpaved parking lot, joining a few old pickups and ancient, beat-up Datsuns. The adjacent shack's corrugated-metal roof, open walls, and dirt floor brought to mind not paradise, but an honest-to-goodness jungle dive bar. Called the Montpellier Domino Club, located in the west end of St. Croix, the place looked like an outtake from Romancing the Stone.

THE PHILLIES signed eight players to minor league contracts with invitations to major league spring training as nonroster players, the team announced yesterday. Several of the signings have been previously reported, including lefthander Pat Misch, infielder Pete Orr, catcher Tuff Gosewisch and outfielder Scott Podsednik. Here is a closer look at five of the signings: 1 Brian Sanches The 33-year-old righthander spent the first 2 years of his major league career with the Phillies, leaving the organization after 2007 to sign with the Nationals, where he played in 2008 before spending the next three seasons with the Marlins.

The sun is low in the sky on Dean Carlson's Chester County farm, where his Scottish Highland cows tilt their mop-top heads, showing off their venerable horns. Gold-and-black-feathered chickens, known as Freedom Rangers for the unrestrained manner in which they are raised, poke their heads from a mobile henhouse. And a crowd gathers in an open-air barn to sample roast pork sandwiches, made from heritage breed Ossabaw pigs that lived and died here. Carlson is a onetime Chicago options trader who dropped the suit-and-tie style in 2010 to buy Wyebrook Farm in Honey Brook.

ALLENTOWN - The Columbus Clippers beat the IronPigs, 4-1, in Game 4 of the best-of-five Governors' Cup series to win the International League championship Friday night at Coca-Cola Park. Columbus won the series, three games to one, the lone Lehigh Valley victory coming in Game 1 on Tuesday in Columbus. Clippers righthander Paolo Espino gave up one run over seven innings, and reliever Chen Lee finished out the game, striking out four in two innings of work. Lehigh Valley's Ryan Edell gave up three runs in six innings and took the loss.

ALLENTOWN - Luke Carlin hit a two-run home run, and Joe Martinez struck out 13 as the visiting Columbus Clippers downed the IronPigs, 6-2, putting Lehigh Valley on the brink of elimination. After capturing the first game of the best-of-five series, the IronPigs have dropped two straight. They will host Game 4 on Friday. Martinez, a righty, went seven innings and allowed just one run on three hits.     The IronPigs threatened in the eight as the go-ahead run reached base before Josh Barfield flied out to end the rally.

COLUMBUS, Ohio - The Columbus Clippers broke through for four runs in the eighth inning and defeated the Lehigh Valley IronPigs, 4-1, Wednesday to even the Governor's Cup series at one game apiece in the International League. Lehigh Valley starter Nate Bump (0-1) had shut out the Clippers through seven innings before the rally. Tagg Bozied's bases-empty home run in the fifth inning had given the IronPigs a 1-0 lead.   Lehigh Valley 000 010 000 – 1 7 1 Columbus 000 000 04x – 4 6 0   WP: Talbot (1-0)