Pigs

GREAT news: the SUV backlash has begun. We've always disliked the fact that sports utility vehicles are so big and dangerous (consumers believe they're safe, when they're anything but) and that they guzzle gas. But now, with war looming, and our dependence on foreign oil increasingly problematic, driving an SUV today is downright unconscionable. That's why we support a recent bill introduced in Congress, by Sens. Diane Feinstein and Olympia Snowe that would raise the standards for fuel efficiency in SUVs.

City Council President Joseph Coleman's attitude and the actions of Council in overriding the veto of the recent pension bill can be described in two words: Oink, oink. Gilbert A. Levy Philadelphia.

Skippack farmer John W. Hasson stood ankle-deep in mud, pumping milk into a wooden trough as his pigs, squealing and grunting, snouts quivering, climbed over each other to get to their feed. Hasson inhaled deeply. "Does that smell sour to you? That's what they call noxious fumes," he said with a sniff toward his new neighbors, Ironbridge Estates, a subdivision of two-story colonial houses costing $200,000 plus. Ironbridge's developers say Hasson's farm smells. And his 250 pigs squeal too much.

What's the story with those French truffle pigs? If they like truffles so much, how come they don't just eat them? What's stopping them? What's stopping them from saying to those French truffle farmers, "Buzz off, monsieur, I saw it first," and then snarfing them down? I'll tell you what's stopping them. Muzzles and leashes and whaps on the snout with a knobby walking stick. That's what's stopping them. How would you like it to be your portion in life to constantly be searching for the yummiest thing you can think of, the thing you want the most, and then every time you find it, someone schleps you back with a jerk, snapping your head probably and whapping you on the nose for good measure, and then takes it for himself?

Somebody's finally packed up Thomas Kaden's potbellied pork and taken it away. The last four members of a nine-pig family that township officials deemed a nuisance to neighbors have been removed from their quiet suburban home, Upper Dublin Zoning Officer Jesse Hayden confirmed Friday. "The roosters are still there, but the pigs are finally gone," Hayden said. "All he's got to do right now is get rid of the chickens, and we're all happy. " Upper Dublin officials filed papers in Montgomery County Court two weeks ago demanding that Kaden pay the $1,750 in fines levied against him two years ago, when a Common Pleas Court judge ruled that Kaden's pigs were illegal under zoning laws.

The one-vehicle rush-hour accident on the Route 30 bypass yesterday morning would have qualified as routine - but for the porcine passengers. State police said a tractor-trailer carrying 100-plus porkers took the ramp for Route 202 in West Whiteland Township a little too swiftly, hitting the side of the bridge and tipping onto the guardrail. Neither pigs nor people were injured. Motorists were delayed - but not hamstrung - by the 6 a.m. crash, said police, who closed the ramp for about two hours and detoured traffic to the Frazer exit, where drivers could access 202. Trooper John Hanosek said the closure was necessary so the swine could be transferred from one tractor-trailer to another, a process that strained the senses for about an hour and a half.

ALLENTOWN - The Lehigh Valley IronPigs rode three home runs Thursday night to a 4-1 victory over the Rochester Red Wings in the International League. Cody Ransom's two-run shot in the second inning provided all the runs starter Nate Bump would need. Scott Mathieson pitched two shutout innings for the save. Dewayne Wise and John Mayberry both hit solo homers in the fourth. Trenton 4, Portland 2 PORTLAND, Maine - Damon Sublett stroked a two-run homer in the top of the 11th to give the Thunder the Eastern League win. Eric Wordekemper struck out the side in the bottom of the inning to get the save.

All right, gentlemen, you win. Yes, you can tell me I have a real pair of knockers. While I'm typing your memos, you can describe to me what sexual acts you'd like to watch or perform and with what implements. Go ahead, play professional sports, and take out a beauty queen. But don't bother to listen to her; threaten her until she listens to you. You are men, it's your world, you can be president and we can't, so why complain? Give me another understanding editorial about how the victim, the poor victim, needs support, needs to be heard.

On permanent replay deep in every psyche are phrases like: Clean up your room! Cut the lawn! Stop that noise! And our favorite: Have you made up your bed? Nagging may be the reason we don't all live like pigs. But it's no fun to listen to - or to deliver. Now, thanks to the creative divorced mother of a lethargic 11-year-old, parents have a new tool to shift kids from idle into overdrive - while saving their breath, except to say "Oh, sweetie, your room looks lovely!" Under the name Harper - for "harping" rather than "nagging" - Rowena Starling of Berkeley, Calif.

The Education of an Urban Farmer By Novella Carpenter Penguin, 277 pp. $16 paperback Reviewed by Bob Sheasley Novella Carpenter wells with tears to see her turkey mourning his mate, ripped by a rottweiler in the Oakland, Calif., ghetto she calls home. Harold circles what's left of Maude, puffs and preens as if asking her to mate, then thumps his head by her side. So much meat wasted. But she still had Harold for the Thanksgiving feast. That's how it is with Carpenter, who loves animals, in lots of ways.

ALLENTOWN - Whether it's at this year's trade deadline or after the season, one of the most difficult decisions in franchise history is going to have to be made in the not-too-distant future. Chase Utley: stay or go? Much of that decision will be influenced by the play of the team and the play of the veteran second baseman who so far has been solid offensively and shaky at times defensively. Some of the decision will also be influenced by the play of Cesar Hernandez, the 22-year-old second baseman at triple-A Lehigh Valley.

The Phillies' top minor-league affiliate announced Tuesday it is set to debut a "urinal gaming system" at its ballpark in Allentown next week. The Lehigh Valley IronPigs tapped a British company to install the system in men's restrooms at Coca-Cola Park. A display is mounted above each urinal. When a fan approaches, the urinal switches into gaming mode. Aiming left or right controls play on the screen. Upon completion (an average of over 50 seconds), users get a score and code to enter.

By Erica Meier Headlines around the world have blared the scandal: Unwitting Britons who dined on hamburgers, meatballs, or other beef products were actually eating horse meat - and they're outraged. In fact, recent polls show that 20 percent of U.K. consumers are now eating less meat and 7 percent are saying "neigh" to meat altogether. In Philadelphia, the news seems to have had the opposite effect: At least one restaurant says it plans to add horse meat to its menu. The scandal raises many uncomfortable questions.

Poems 1962-2012 By Louise Glück Farrar, Straus and Giroux. 656 pp. $40. Reviewed by John Timpane   My mixed feelings about Louise Glück's poetry may, in some eyes, make me unsuited to write a useful review of this book. It's a very important book to have, if you like the U.S. poetry of the last half-century. Louise Glück, no doubt about it, occupies a singular and influential place - for the good - in poetry since 1962, inspiring countless poets, and teaching countless more.

DURHAM, N.H. - Guinea pig. That's what Marty Scarano, the animated New Hampshire athletic director, still calls Ricky Santos. Before he arrived, everyone here thought a fleet-footed quarterback was needed for Chip Kelly's offense to work. By the time Santos finished his career in 2007 - a Walter Payton Award tucked under his arm - everyone there was convinced of what Kelly has been telling Philadelphia since his hire. It's less about the feet than it is about the brain. It's less about the speed of a particular play than it is the speed with which several plays are executed.

For most people, the Christmas ham conjures images of a clove-studded spiral of pink and smoky-sweet meat. But in our cure-your-own era of nose-to-tail charcuterie, those who have tackled the project of a "fresh" ham - one that's not been cured, cooked, or smoked - know the holiday centerpiece can be something altogether different. Think more of a traditional roast pork writ large, a majestic 20-pound joint of pig with a band of skin wrapped around its shanks - still scored like a crackly pinecone, but with meat inside that's white and savory with juice.

Take a bow, you 'Pigs. The National Association of Professional Baseball Leagues reported Monday that the Lehigh Valley IronPigs, the Phillies' triple-A affiliate in Allentown, led all U.S. minor-league teams in total attendance (622,421) for the second straight year and in average (9,153) for the third year in a row. Sultanes de Monterrey of the triple-A Mexican League led overall in attendance (645,302) and average (11,321). The NAPBL reported that the average regular-season attendance in the minor leagues dropped 1.5 percent this year (3,967, down from 4,029)

CINCINNATI - The Phillies didn't suffer from a hangover from Sunday night's debilitating loss in Atlanta. They didn't look overmatched against the first-place Reds, either. Instead, they beat the second-best team in baseball with three rookie pitchers. Tyler Cloyd made the most of his second big-league start and Phillippe Aumont was up to the task when asked to nail down his first major league save opportunity. Despite sporting a fastball that will never impress a radar gun, Cloyd dominated the Reds for seven innings while Aumont did what the team's veteran closer couldn't do the night before as the Phillies took a 4-2 win in a Labor Day matinee.

Philadelphia-based food-service giant Aramark said Tuesday that it would eliminate the use of all pork from animals bred using gestation crates in its U.S. supply chain by 2017. In announcing the plan with the Humane Society of the United States, Aramark joined dozens of other food-service companies, restaurant chains, and supermarkets that have pledged to end their reliance on suppliers who house breeding pigs in confining crates their whole lives. "Aramark is proud to stand in partnership with other industry leaders and supply-chain partners to transition away from gestation crates in a timely fashion," said Kathy Cacciola, Aramark's senior director of environmental sustainability.

Philadelphia-based food service giant Aramark said today it will eliminate all pork from animals bred using gestation crates in its U.S. supply chain by 2017. In announcing the plans with the Humane Society of the United States, Aramark joins dozens of other food service companies, restaurant chains and supermarkets that have pledged to end their reliance on suppliers who house breeding pigs in confining crates their whole lives. "Aramark is proud to stand in partnership with other industry leaders and supply chain partners to transition away from gestation crates in a timely fashion," said Kathy Cacciola, Aramark's senior director of environmental sustainability.