Roast

Councilwoman Joan Krajewski usually has a low tolerance for smart-alecky back talk, but she has agreed to endure an evening of good-natured wisecracks on Oct. 14 - as the target of a roast to benefit the Sunshine Foundation. The barbs will come from an assortment of jokesters, including radio personalities Irv Homer and Dominic Quinn, Councilmen John Street and Jack Kelly, and City Commissioner Margaret Tartaglione. Homer will be the emcee. Krajewski has been bracing herself for months for the event, at the Cottage Green Restaurant, Ashton and Willits Roads.

Burlington County Prosecutor Stephen G. Raymond has been a volunteer worker for the American Cancer Society for five years now. Officials are so pleased with his efforts that they decided to humiliate him - in public. Friday night will see the first-ever Steve Raymond roast. Those with an ax to grind against the county's top law enforcement officer will include former New Jersey Attorney General W. Cary Edwards, U.S. Rep. H. James Saxton, (R., 13th, Burlington-Camden-Ocean), Gloucester County Prosecutor Richard Hickey, KYW television news reporter Dick Standish and Frank Grungo, a Medford Realtor who is on the American Cancer Society's board of directors.

City Councilman Leland M. Beloff was there in a tuxedo with a flower in his lapel. In all, a half-dozen members of Council sat at the head table. And scattered throughout the banquet room were most of the important labor leaders in Philadelphia. Pretty nice turnout, somebody said to Margaret L. Tartaglione, the guest of honor. "Yeah, well," she said, "they're roasting me, you know. They just want to get me. " About 600 people paid $25 each to attend the fund-raising dinner last night at Palumbo's restaurant in South Philadelphia to benefit Tartaglione's campaign for re-election as a city commissioner.

You're chatting with your friends, and someone suggests that it would be nifty to zap a pal with a surprise video roast - if only anyone knew a person experienced enough with a video camera to put one together. Well, if you've been using your camcorder to record family events like weddings, graduations or vacations, perhaps it's time to accept the challenge and try your talent as a small-time movie producer/director. With decent video equipment, it's unlikely that you will fail totally, and even partial failures of projects like this can be a lot of fun. If you know how to create a story, you should be able to give it life with pictures.

The seven Democratic candidates for president came together at a downtown Washington hotel Tuesday night to "roast" New Jersey's Sen. Bill Bradley. By the time the night was over, the joke may well have been on them. Bradley, who has resisted repeated urgings from across a wide political spectrum to run for the White House, demonstrated that, as of now, he is simply in a different league from his colleagues. And if he still entertains any notions about getting into the race, what happened at his roast may offer those thoughts enormous encouragement.

To congressman, councilman and jury commissioner, add another career option for James J. Tayoun. "Jim, are you a veteran? Good, I know of a very good job for you," joked Councilman Ed Schwartz, referring to the flap over former councilman and Abscam figure Harry Jannotti's aborted appointment to a council veterans' commission. In fact, that may be the only job Tayoun is not rumored to be seeking. As about 350 friends and political cronies gathered to "roast" Tayoun at his Middle East Restaurant last night, the sizzle of insults was matched only by the murmurs of speculation.

Suddenly, the sixth annual Port Arthur (Texas) Homecoming Roast is a hot ticket. Buddy Ryan is going to help roast Dallas Cowboys coach Jimmy Johnson, who was born in Port Arthur. Ryan, the ex-Eagles coach who recently was hired as defensive coordinator for the Houston Oilers, agreed to help roast Johnson at the May 22 event, which benefits the Port Arthur Historical Society. Johnson and Ryan frequently traded insults when Ryan coached the Eagles. "Sure, I'll help roast Jimmy," Ryan said.

A pig helping handicapped children in Burlington County? Well, at least that's the plan members of the Edgewater Park Elks have in mind for their 11th annual Pig Roast, scheduled for Saturday at the lodge. There are about 43 handicapped children - retarded children and those with birth defects and cerebral palsy - on the Elks Club's "roster" this year. And "every dime that's earned goes to the handicapped kids," Elks member Ernie Jewell said. Money collected is used to provide wheelchairs, walkers and crutches for the children.

Easter dinner is much less predictable than other holiday meals. Thanksgiving means a turkey roasting in the oven, and for Christmas it's either another big bird or roast beef. But come spring, everyone is tired of turkey and cooks are ready to experiment a little. So they'll buy a ham, smother it in pineapple and cloves; order a rolled pork roast from their favorite butcher; or wow the relatives with a rack of lamb. If this is the year you'd like to make a new Easter tradition, think duck.

Tom Chambers scored 13 of his 25 points in a lopsided third quarter and Dan Majerle outscored NBA Rookie of the Year Mitch Richmond 22-12 as the Phoenix Suns routed the Golden State Warriors, 130-103, in yesterday's opening game of their Western Conference semifinal playoff series. Game 2 of the best-of-seven series is scheduled for Tuesday night at Arizona Veterans Memorial Coliseum before the series moves to Oakland, Calif., for Games 3 and 4. Phoenix, which swept Denver in three straight games in the first round, outrebounded the Warriors, 39-22, while building a 66-51 halftime lead, then outscored Golden State, 41-22, in the third period, which ended with the Suns ahead 107-73.

Makes 8 servings 4 cups thinly sliced fennel    bulb 3 tablespoons olive oil,    divided 3/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper, divided 1/2 teaspoon salt, divided 1/4 teaspoon ground red pepper 2 garlic cloves, minced Cooking spray 3 tablespoons grated fresh    Parmigiano Reggiano    cheese 2 (15.8-ounce) cans Great    Northern beans, rinsed          and drained 4 cups baby spinach 1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees.

A small amount of chorizo provides big flavor. Roasted Pork Tenderloin With Black Bean-Chorizo Ragu Makes 6 to 8 servings Ingredients: 1 3/4 pounds trimmed pork tenderloins (2 pieces) 1 teaspoon ground cumin 1 teaspoon dried oregano Salt and black pepper 1 1/2 tablespoons olive oil 1 medium onion, cut in 1/4-inch dice (1 cup) 1/2 medium red pepper, cut in 1/4-inch dice (1/2 cup) 4 ounces fresh chorizo sausage, casing removed 1 tablespoon tomato paste 1 1/2 cups black beans (homemade or 15-ounce can, drained)

STATE STORE PICK OF THE MONTH Don Miguel Gascón Malbec Mendoza, Argentina $10.99* PLCB Item No. 4827 Red malbec wines from Argentina have taken the American market by storm in recent years, thanks to their exceptional price to quality ratio. At first, they were found mainly in the under $10 category, but now that they've proven their worth and recruited a generation of wine drinkers, more and more premium wines are being imported. Higher-end malbecs, like this one that normally retails for $15 a bottle, deliver an exceptional concentration of dark berry flavor with the grape's signature undercurrents of earthy floral aromatics.

The Gryphon Cafe, with its artful mural, open mikes and laid-back vibe, has been a fixture in Wayne for nearly 17 years. But for the last three, owner Rich Mattis has been house-roasting the cafe's own beans, too. "I'm still new at this," Mattis concedes as explanation for his constant experimentation with different roasts. No matter, I've been impressed at each visit with both the quality and complexity of his beans. Whether it's the round and fruity GST espresso (Gryphon Standard Time)

1   The Sixers' Andrew Bynum "KNOCKIN' AROUND ON TWO BAD KNEES" (Sung to "Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree") Knockin' around on two bad knees, I'm the Sixers' latest flop. Bruises appear where none can see, I'm the bust the Lakers swapped. Knockin' around on two bad knees, I'm Jeff Ruland for this age. May play six games just as a tease, Then collect my handsome wage. You'll soon get an urge to see old Iggy reappear.

Company description: "Herb infused savory waffle, red bell peppers, red onions, zucchini, portobello mushrooms, yellow squash, mozzarella cheese, tomatoes, Dijon mustard. " Chain: Max Brenner. Calories: Because it has fewer than 15 locations, the chain isn't required to provide nutrition information. Location: 15th Street, just south of Walnut. Order time: About 10 minutes. Price: $14.95. Review: The fun, colorful, aromatic restaurant/chocolate store is a great dessert spot, and a new boss has tweaked the menu to add some lighter bites that leave room for sweet treats at the end. New on the menu this fall are a quintet of quirky waffle sandwiches, and although the Chain Gang would never in a bazillion years think to order a veggie sandwich in a restaurant that sells a Peanut Butter and Banana Chocolate Crepe ($12.95)

EVERY YEAR AROUND now, food writers' in-boxes fill with pitches on conquering the stressful challenge of cooking a turkey right. Boosting bland flavor. Squelching salmonella. Timing the thaw. To stuff or not to stuff? The pitfalls of this recently established "tradition" (we still don't know if there was any turkey at the first Thanksgiving) are legion. And kitchen cooks can only be rescued, it seems, by expert advice or some newly discovered off-the-wall process. Well, if cooking a turkey is such a high-stakes activity, why not relax and try a turkey-free T-Day?

COMEDIANS have an easier time making an audience laugh, concedes Ross Bennett, when the listeners have already downed their two-drink minimum. But when a jokester is playing for a crowd that's largely reformed alcoholics and former drug addicts - a relatively new "subset" audience for live comedy being courted by the booking agency Recoverycomedy.com - "you've got to really be good," said Bennett. "You can't just get away with dropping the f-bomb. In fact, since it's often a family crowd you're facing, you have to work totally clean, as well as sober.

Tall men circled the dim tables at the Philadelphia Platinum Grill on Saturday afternoon. Some of their backs were hunched forward, some of their hair was white, some of their eyes bespectacled. All of them - once fit and fast on a basketball court - are now past their prime. To get to the restaurant, located on Crittenden Street, some of the men flew from their homes in Alabama, Florida, and Georgia. Some of them just drove from Chester County. All of them came to honor John Chaney, two-time national coach of the year, 2001 Basketball Hall of Fame inductee, mentor.

3- to 5-pound whole chicken Kosher salt and ground black pepper For the barbecue sauce: 6-ounce can tomato paste 5 tablespoons agave syrup 3 tablespoons olive oil 5 tablespoons cider vinegar 1½ tablespoons Dijon mustard 1 teaspoon kosher salt 2 teaspoons ground cumin 1 teaspoon cinnamon 1 teaspoon garlic powder 1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce ½ teaspoon ground...