Romance

Many of us never thought we'd reach 40 single and living alone. But the last census told us that 23 million Americans now live alone, half between 25 and 50. Many single adults raised in the "Ozzie-and-Harriet" era now live confused and benumbed in another: The Twilight Zone of Romance. Sure, activities for "singles" are everywhere. But adult dating today can be a carnival of confusion. The problem isn't simply about who will pick up the dinner check, it's about the lost verities of courtship, civility and compromise, rules that disappeared with Howdy Doody and tailfins on Cadillacs.

The older woman who takes up with a younger man generally has not fared well on the silver screen. She is at best a vehicle for the young man's coming of age - Jennifer O'Neill's lovely war widow in "Summer of '42" - and more often either an object of pity (Cloris Leachman's sex-starved Ruth in "The Last Picture Show") or an out-and-out lecher (Anne Bancroft's Mrs. Robinson in "The Graduate"). The object of her affections - or attentions - may be in the relationship for ambition (Frank Sinatra in "Pal Joey," William Holden in "Sunset Boulevard")

Since Valentine's Day falls on Monday this year, why not devote the whole weekend to romance? Just hit the video store and fire up the VCR. Here are some suggestions, from classic to offbeat: "Wuthering Heights" (1939) - Laurence Olivier's Heathcliff suffers his whole miserable life pining for Merle Oberon's Cathy. The tacked-on ending suggests heaven may offer what earth never could. "Gone With the Wind" (1939) - Vivien Leigh's Scarlett and Clark Gable's Rhett are married and obsessively drawn to each other, but their tempestuous courtship continues because they never settle down enough to settle in. They're both so strong and Scarlett so unyielding that they're thwarted by her inability to accept just part of all she thinks she wants.

"We're goin' ridin' on the freeway, got love on the inside track. " - Aretha Franklin, "Freeway of Love" The automobile, as several academics have observed, has become a kind of motorized version of the American psyche, a symbol of self-reliance, private adventure and the mobility of a democratic society. Now, increasingly, it is the vehicle to romance. Nowhere is this more evident than in this city where, as author Arthur Miller once wrote, "when a man admits failure, he becomes a pedestrian.

He's fought off aliens, drug lords, the CIA and - ay! - robots. Heck, he even brought George Foreman to his knees. Now, in Hitch, his first romantic comedy since he burst onto the small screen as the Fresh Prince, Philadelphia native son Will Smith finds himself in the battle of the sexes. Smith, the quintessential ladies' man - who's resplendent with his actress wife, Jada Pinkett Smith, on the cover of this month's Essence - plays "date doctor" Alex Hitchens, creating situations to help ordinary guys snag the girls of their dreams.

"When companies say they're coming out with software for women, they generally release a cookbook program," says Amy Briggs. "That's sort of denying the intellectual ability of women. " Briggs, 25, is the author of Plundered Hearts (Infocom), the first interactive romance novel. That's right, an all-text romantic story you read and participate in with the help of your computer. It hit the stores early last month. With an adult female audience in mind, Plundered Hearts is also the first interactive fiction software in which the main character is a woman.

When Anne Lubeck met Peter Silverberg back in 2003, she was divorced and he was a widower. Things clicked on their first lunch date at a South Jersey restaurant, and after some months a romance was budding. At the time, Peter was living in the single-family home he had shared with his wife, and Anne had begun flirting with the notion of moving from her condominium in Edgewater Park to somewhat larger space. As the romance progressed, and it was clear that marriage was in the offing, Anne became more proactive about moving.

As far as anybody can tell, the women of Long Island found it first, around Thanksgiving. During their Christmas vacations, they carried it by Kindle to Boca and possibly Aruba, and from there, it ripped its way through Jersey and then the nation's e-readers before landing last week at the very top of the New York Times best-seller list for combined print and e-book sales. It's Fifty Shades of Grey , the sexual-bondage romance novel from first-time author E.L. James, a married British TV executive and mother of two, that's been steaming up e-book readers since its digital publication in May and is about to be released as a trilogy in paperback form, with a first run of 750,000 copies.

You're a pretty unromantic lot out there. Sure, you'll exchange about 950 million cards on Tuesday. But Tuesday is Valentine's Day, and - as any true romantic will tell you - that's amateur night, a time when just about everybody's mind is on romance. How do you fare the rest of the year? Most of you say you are romantics, and more than a third of you complain about the lack of romance in your lives. Yet in the average week, almost half of you Northeastern lovers spend less than $10 romancing your partner (that includes flowers, cards and dinner)

NEW YORK - E.L. James' Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, a word-of-mouth romance smash so erotic it's sometimes labeled "mommy porn," has been signed up by a paperback division of Random House Inc. Vintage Books announced Saturday that it had acquired the three books - Fifty Shades of Grey , Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed . E-book editions will be out today, and paperbacks are expected in early April. The novels had been distributed by an Australia-based publisher, the Writer's Coffee Shop Publishing House.

This week's new DVD options include a romance, classic Westerns, and a religion-meets-science offering. The Vow, Grade B: A woman (Rachel McAdams) wakes up from a coma with no memory of her marriage. The romance film is loosely based on a true story. Rachel McAdams and Channing Tatum are the film's biggest assets. She has the kind of angelic face and sweet personality that make it easy to fall in love with her. Tatum brings both a rough physicality and surprising vulnerability to the role.

Is Washed Out just a darling of the blogs? No. The hip-cult music bloggerati surely adore them, but that's not why this Atlanta band is a success. It comes down to this: Their music is an accompaniment to the love story of the mind. Yes, Ernest Greene — the band's tentative crooning singer, composer, and keyboardist — did indeed make his initial electronic singles, epic yet intimate, into online and downloadable favorites. He's credited with being a leading voice in what's labeled "chillwave.

A starving Polish jeweler liberated from a Nazi concentration camp by soldiers from Gen. George Patton's Third Army asked Pvt. Dave Kershaw whether he would like him to make duplicate "pre-engagement" rings from two U.S. silver dollars, one for himself and the other for his girlfriend in South Jersey. Her name would be on one side of each ring, his on the other. Kershaw, a native of Mount Ephraim who was drafted into the U.S. Army in 1944 and who survived the Battle of the Bulge, was thrilled by the jeweler's heartfelt gesture.

As far as anybody can tell, the women of Long Island found it first, around Thanksgiving. During their Christmas vacations, they carried it by Kindle to Boca and possibly Aruba, and from there, it ripped its way through Jersey and then the nation's e-readers before landing last week at the very top of the New York Times best-seller list for combined print and e-book sales. It's Fifty Shades of Grey , the sexual-bondage romance novel from first-time author E.L. James, a married British TV executive and mother of two, that's been steaming up e-book readers since its digital publication in May and is about to be released as a trilogy in paperback form, with a first run of 750,000 copies.

NEW YORK - E.L. James' Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy, a word-of-mouth romance smash so erotic it's sometimes labeled "mommy porn," has been signed up by a paperback division of Random House Inc. Vintage Books announced Saturday that it had acquired the three books - Fifty Shades of Grey , Fifty Shades Darker and Fifty Shades Freed . E-book editions will be out today, and paperbacks are expected in early April. The novels had been distributed by an Australia-based publisher, the Writer's Coffee Shop Publishing House.

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend, "Jackson," and I have been in a long-distance relationship for two years. We recently learned that we both have been accepted to our "dream" college, which means we'll live close to each other for the first time. I miss Jackson when we're apart, but I enjoy having the freedom to study, hang out with friends and have "me time" while still being in a happy relationship. From what I have heard, college life is fun, but busy. I love Jackson and want to be with him, but I also want to make new friends and focus on schoolwork.

By virtue of its simple, stylized look - bold lines and color blocks - and effervescent Cuban jazz score, the Spanish animated feature Chico & Rita rises above its routine story of a troubled love affair between talented musicians. The movie opens as the aged Chico (voice of Eman Xor Oña), a Havana bootblack, looks out at the city and flashes back to pre-revolution days when he was a young piano player and ladies' man and fell for alluring songbird Rita (Limara Meneses). Over the following decades, the relationship will have some ups and lots of downs.

ZAGREB, Croatia - What becomes of a garden gnome hurled in fury at a windshield during a stormy breakup? Or a teddy bear that was once a Valentine's Day present? A wedding dress from a marriage gone awry? An ax that smashed through household furniture? All are on display at the Museum of Broken Relationships in the Croatian capital, each with a written testimony telling tales of passion, romance, and heartbreak. On Valentine's Day, visits to the museum almost double.

The endearing romance between troubled teen Bella Swan (Kristen Stewart) and perpetually young blood-drinker Edward Cullen (Robert Pattinson) takes a decidedly grown-up turn in The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1 , which Summit Entertainment is to release at 12:01 a.m. Saturday. The fourth installment in the mega-popular teen vampire romance has Bella and Edward procreate. Their baby, it seems, poses a danger to the Wolf Pack, introducing more hair-raising, tingly conflict.

SAY THIS for Angelina Jolie's foray into directing - she's clearly not in it for the money. Her debut, "In the Land of Blood and Honey," is a grisly, inscrutable psychosexual art film set amid the brutal chaos of the strife in Bosnia-Herzegovina. I'd be surprised if it finds an audience much bigger than the voting body of the Golden Globes, which gave Jolie a best foreign-language-film director nomination a few weeks ago. "Blood and Honey" (in Turkish, the words combine to form "balkan")