Salmon

You would think any movie with the word "salmon" in the title would have to be funny. Think again. The Slammin' Salmon is one crazily cringe-worthy kettle of fish. The latest (and most feeble) project from the Broken Lizard comedy co-op ( Supertroopers ) in New York is like an elaborate and endless practical joke played on the audience. The movie title is ostensibly the ring name of a former heavyweight boxing champion (Michael Clarke Duncan). It's also the name of his upscale seafood restaurant in Miami.

To locate the origin of nearly half the salmon consumed by Americans, you would have to set sail for the cold waters near Denmark's Faeroe Islands, located southeast of Iceland. To see where large quantities of that salmon are later cleaned, brined, smoked, sliced and prepared daily for delivery to supermarkets, go no farther than Premier Smoked Fish Inc.'s modern processing plant in Lower Bucks County. As the largest fish factory of its kind on the East Coast outside New York City, Premier, of Bensalem Township, has swimmingly tried to bring smoked salmon and whitefish into the mainstream diet.

Benny Lai was already deep into the research for Grill Fish Cafe in West Philly, grazing the coast of Vietnam with his family, before he realized what his vision for the old Vietnam Cafe space was becoming: an Asian take on Greek Dmitri's, simple seafood plates with a light Vietnamese touch. There's grilled octopus and crispy shrimp (but not D's "pil-pil"-style; the garlicky pepper-and-lime dipping sauce here is cut, like Viet coffee, with a dash of sweet condensed milk.) My favorites, though, were the kind of affordable, straightforward entrees that make normally pricey seafood accessible for neighborhood regulars - crispy flounder streaked with spicy ginger and scallion oil; tilapia simmered in cilantro tomato sauce, and this generous slice of Scottish salmon, marked on the grill then splashed with gingered soy and fresh mint.

Lemon, mustard and pepper all have sharp flavors, clear and pungent and, in the cases of lemon and pepper, slightly sweet and floral as well. They've been popular - and popular together - since time out of mind, yet in their lightness, heat and strength, they suit contemporary taste as though they were discovered yesterday. For green peppercorns, "discovered yesterday" is about right. These soft, unripe berries of the Piper nigrum vine have only been available outside pepper-growing regions for about 20 years, and they've only been easily available in the United States for about the last five minutes.

This bizarre story was first told to me by a retired Chicago broadcasting executive, who now lives on Washington Island in Wisconsin. He said: "I was having dinner with this friend of mine named Lee, who has a vacation home up here. "Lee is an avid fisherman and he likes to go out on Lake Michigan and catch those big salmon. "When he goes back to Chicago, he takes one of the salmon with him, and he has a chef at his country club fix it up real nice, with all the trimmings, and he has some friends over for dinner.

The newest of the new plays in New York this season abandons the foolish and old-fashioned device of a stage. Given the society's obsessive interest in things as opposed to ideas, the omission makes a kind of post-modernist sense. Of what use is a stage to actors who have nothing to say, or to an audience that delights not in the glories of language but in the wonders of the higher shopping? The play that isn't a play goes by the name of Tamara and takes place in the 7th Regiment Armory on Park Avenue.

Consider offering something that is richly savory, but won't weigh down the party this holiday season. We started with a beautiful side of salmon, roasted it with butter and garlic, then dressed it with a warm lentil salad spiked with citrus and pomegranate. The result is a beautiful dish that will make a statement. If you can't find creme fraiche, substitute sour cream or Greek-style yogurt.   Roasted Salmon With Warm Lentil Salad Makes 10 servings 2 cups green lentils 4-pound side of salmon, skin on 1 clove garlic, finely minced 2 tablespoons butter Salt and ground black pepper Zest and juice of 1 lemon Segments of 3 oranges Seeds of 1/2 pomegranate 1 teaspoon ground coriander 1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro Splash of hot sauce 8-ounce tub creme fraiche Juice of 1 orange 1. Heat the oven to 400 degrees.

Maybe $12.50 is a bit steep for a piece of salmon. Damir Dokic apparently thought so. Dokic, the explosive father of Jelena Dokic, took his frustration over the price of lunch and the size of his portion out on a cafeteria worker, his anger becoming an all-out rant and rave. He got so belligerent and out of control, the U.S. Tennis Association had him forcibly removed from the grounds and exiled from the National Tennis Center for the duration of the U.S. Open. "Damir Dokic, the father of Jelena Dokic, was removed from the grounds as a result of abusive behavior in the players lounge earlier today," U.S. Open tournament director Jay Snyder said in a statement.

Carol Kaplan hoped against hope. All night, she stayed up and cooked and cooked some more, praying that somehow the snow wouldn't be so bad and the long-planned Torah Fund Brunch of the Germantown Jewish Centre could go on as planned. As the forecasts worsened and the white stuff actually began to fall, Kaplan shifted into high gear. Maybe the people bringing the kugels would be snowbound, she thought, so she cooked two extra kugels. Same for the cake people. So she baked a cake at 1 a.m. And just in case the brunch couldn't be held at all - well, Kaplan didn't want to be stuck with six salmon mousses.

Ralph Costobile may be the lunch chef at the Four Seasons' elegant Fountain Restaurant and Swann Lounge, but he started out as a mere onlooker in his grandmothers' South Philadelphia kitchens. Growing up at Passyunk and Dickinson, Costobile watched his parents' mothers bake cinnamon cookies, cheesecake and Easter bread, and prepare the feast of seven fishes for Christmas Eve. In the summer, young Ralph was allowed to help jar tomatoes for traditional gravy. Remembering what it was like to be a kid in his grandmas' kitchens, the chef devised a sandwich that's easy (and safe)

Benny Lai was already deep into the research for Grill Fish Cafe in West Philly, grazing the coast of Vietnam with his family, before he realized what his vision for the old Vietnam Cafe space was becoming: an Asian take on Greek Dmitri's, simple seafood plates with a light Vietnamese touch. There's grilled octopus and crispy shrimp (but not D's "pil-pil"-style; the garlicky pepper-and-lime dipping sauce here is cut, like Viet coffee, with a dash of sweet condensed milk.) My favorites, though, were the kind of affordable, straightforward entrees that make normally pricey seafood accessible for neighborhood regulars - crispy flounder streaked with spicy ginger and scallion oil; tilapia simmered in cilantro tomato sauce, and this generous slice of Scottish salmon, marked on the grill then splashed with gingered soy and fresh mint.

For bubble and squeak: 1 pound Idaho potatoes, peeled 3 ounces butter, plus more for cooking 1 leek, cleaned and thinly sliced 1/2 head green cabbage, thinly sliced 3 ounces heavy cream Vegetable oil Salt and pepper 8 ounces sliced smoked salmon 4 eggs (optional) For dill hollandaise: 6 egg yolks 1 lemon 14 ounces clarified butter 1 sprig fresh dill, chopped   1. Place potatoes in a stockpot and cover with cold water.

Vegetable cooking spray 2 medium-size onions, cut into  1-inch pieces 2 medium-size carrots, cut into 1-inch pieces 2 ribs celery, cut into 1-inch pieces 1 cup curly-leaf parsley leaves 3 pounds skinless salmon, cut into 2-inch pieces 3 large eggs ½ cup vegetable oil ¼ cup sugar, or to taste 2 teaspoons kosher salt, or to  taste 2 teaspoons freshly ground  black pepper, or to taste ...

1 pound sugar snap peas 2 small cucumbers, unpeeled, thinly sliced (Persian if you can find them) 1 cup (about 1/2 pint ) cherry or grape tomatoes, halved 1/4 cup chopped fresh dill 1/2 cup extra virgin olive oil Grated zest of 1 large lemon 1/4 cup fresh lemon juice (from one large lemon) 3/4 teaspoon kosher salt 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper 1 (14.75-ounce) can of boneless, skinless pink salmon, drained 1. Bring a large saucepan of salted water to a boil over high heat.

'Chemistry is a strange thing," Emily Blunt says, and she's not talking about the periodic table. "You either have it or you don't. And I do think it translates onto screen when you have a great rapport with someone offscreen. " That someone is Ewan McGregor - a fellow Brit and Blunt's leading man in the whimsical romantic comedy Salmon Fishing in the Yemen . The two stars had never crossed paths before - not even a howdy-do at a party or premiere - when Lasse Hallström , the film's director, put them together.

THE EARLY leader for the Worst Title of the Year award is surely "Salmon Fishing in Yemen. " The words seem designed to alienate as many viewers as possible, while pandering to the world's smallest subset of hobbyists. (Remember the bird-watching comedy "The Big Year?" Of course you don't.) There is another audience for the movie, of course, and it's anyone who finds Emily Blunt adorable, which is everyone. "Fishing" features Blunt in "Young Victoria" mode, in a decidedly old-fashioned romance that replaces modern-day vulgarity with the decorum of formal courtship.

Consider offering something that is richly savory, but won't weigh down the party this holiday season. We started with a beautiful side of salmon, roasted it with butter and garlic, then dressed it with a warm lentil salad spiked with citrus and pomegranate. The result is a beautiful dish that will make a statement. If you can't find creme fraiche, substitute sour cream or Greek-style yogurt.   Roasted Salmon With Warm Lentil Salad Makes 10 servings 2 cups green lentils 4-pound side of salmon, skin on 1 clove garlic, finely minced 2 tablespoons butter Salt and ground black pepper Zest and juice of 1 lemon Segments of 3 oranges Seeds of 1/2 pomegranate 1 teaspoon ground coriander 1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro Splash of hot sauce 8-ounce tub creme fraiche Juice of 1 orange 1. Heat the oven to 400 degrees.

A three-way deal between the Charlotte Bobcats, Milwaukee Bucks and Sacramento Kings that featured the draft rights to BYU All-America Jimmer Fredette was the biggest of yesterday's NBA draft day trades. Ex-Sixers guard John Salmons went from Milwaukee to Sacramento, which also got the rights to Fredette, the No. 10 pick. The Bobcats traded leading scorer Stephen Jackson, the rights to No. 19 pick Tobias Harris, of Tennessee, and backup point guard Shaun Livingston to the Bucks, who will also receive guard Beno Udrih from the Kings.

GALETTE DE CRABE LE BEC-FIN 1 bunch scallions 1 teaspoon butter 1 pound jumbo lump crabmeat 14 ounces large shrimp, peeled and deveined 2 eggs 1 pint heavy cream 2 tablespoons Dijon mustard 1 tablespoon hot-pepper sauce 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce Cross cut the green part of the scallion 1/8-inch thick and sweat in 1 teaspoon butter. Mix together with picked crabmeat. Set aside. Put shrimp in very cold bowl of food processor.

Charter schools are all about money The truth about charter schools has more to do with money than education. Not only do charters use taxpayer money taken from already strapped traditional public schools, but they also benefit from a nationwide network of corporations, foundations, and private donors. Add their ability to screen applicants by lottery, "counsel" students out if they don't fit in, while not accepting most English learners or hard-core special-education and discipline-problem students, and you have the mother lode of all rigged games.