January 24, 2012 |
OCEAN CITY, just about the happiest place in America, according to a recent poll, received a stinking, rotten reminder yesterday that death is always just a tide away. Initial reports suggested that a large whale simply was beached, setting the stage for a horde of hope-filled hearts to rush into the surf and push the magnificent beast off into the Atlantic. There would have been cheers and tears mixed with salt water and celebratory beers later in a neighboring town that sells alcohol.
January 20, 2012 |
"You can't get to heaven on the Frankford El. " - from the song "Frankford El," by the American Dream, 1970 Almost every day for five years, I passed a bar under the Somerset station of the Market-Frankford El. Pat's, I think it was called, and it was no cream-puff bar. It was more like what was called a "bucket of blood" in my grandfather's day. It had a big, plate-glass window lit by neon beer signs and a glowing, green shamrock....
January 14, 2012 |
Sometimes a show is so shockingly bad right from its very first scene - say, for instance, Rob! , which debuted on CBS this week - that you wonder how it ever got made. Who at the network thought a sitcom about a timid Caucasian runt who marries into a big, noisy Mexican family was a good idea? Here's how I imagine the pitch meeting went: "Gentlemen, I think the script you hold in your hands speaks for itself, but we also have a big star attached. Rob Schneider. " No reaction.
December 7, 2011
NEW BALTIMORE, MICH. - A Detroit-area woman is suing an auto dealership, claiming that her new SUV smells bad because it once contained a corpse. The Detroit News reported Monday that Margarita Salais sued Suburban Ford in Oakland County Circuit Court. The suit claims that the dealership failed to disclose that the car had been stolen three times and once held a body. The lawsuit says that Suburban Ford told Salais that the bad smell in the 2006 Ford Expedition came from a dead animal.
October 31, 2011 |
I can't wake up and smell the coffee. I can't smell the roses, either, the ones that I bought from a man who wrapped them in crisp white paper and that shed their aromatic petals onto our dining room table. I am not speaking in metaphor here. I'm talking about a total olfactory wipeout. It happened four years ago. One day, the world was my snuffbox: Ginger sputtering in olive oil, peppermint gum, pinot noir, the cat's litter pan, my daughter's Tea Tree-scented shampoo.
October 20, 2011
A flight from Philadelphia to Switzerland was diverted to Boston Thursday night because of a report of a burning smell in the rear of the plane, a Boston airport spokesman said. US Airways flight 710 to Zurich with 187 passengers and nine crew members landed safely at Boston Logan International Airport at 7:44 p.m., said airport spokesman Phil Orlandella. The crew reported an "electrical smell in the aft gally. " The cause of the smell was under investigation. Four flight attendants reported feeling ill and were transported to Massachussetts General Hospital as a precaution, Orlandella said.
October 17, 2011 |
THE SOUND OF a dog yapping on Saturday morning led landlord Turgut Gozleveli down into the lower basement of the Northeast Philadelphia apartment building he owned, down to an abandoned boiler room that was bizarrely locked shut with a chain wrapped around the door handle. Gozleveli, 71, unwrapped the chain and opened the door, smelling urine and the earthiness of the dirt floor mixed into something he could only describe as a "horrible smell, like unexpected, like undesirable smell - the urine smell.
August 30, 2011 |
BY THE TIME Lt. Gov. Jim Cawley toured flood-ravaged Darby Borough yesterday, he had already coined his Hurricane Irene catchphrase. "We prepared for the worst, we prayed for the best and we got something in between," he said. "Quite frankly, we're OK with that. " But for some of the Darby residents who made their way to Cawley's outdoor news conference, OK is still a long way away. Roshanda Maxwell said that she has an inch of mud in her house and all her food was destroyed by floodwaters.
August 20, 2011 |
The scratch-and-sniff "Aroma-Scope" gimmick of Spy Kids: All the Time in the World in 4D didn't work. Maybe I got a defective card, but the scents you're supposed to sample when the number flashes on the screen and you scratch the corresponding number on your card all smelled like burned artificial blueberry syrup. So take away one "D" from this "4D" movie, one gimmick from a gimmick-laden kiddie comedy from the Robert Rodriguez Spy Kids factory. Gadgets, cheese puffs, and diapers fly off the screen in the cheesiest kid-friendly 3-D tradition.
June 13, 2011 |
Authorities don't suspect anything criminal behind the 1,000 fish that turned up dead in and around Ridley Park Lake over the weekend. Except, of course, for the smell. About 8:15 p.m. Saturday, police were called to the Delaware County lake for a report of a large number of dead fish, Ridley Park Chief Tom Byrne said. "It stunk," he said, referring not to the call, but to the smell at the scene. Byrne estimated that fish of all types - including catfish and carp - had died.