August 19, 1997 |
We've just solved our problem with white socks. I now wear a brand with a W on the side; Fran wears Brand C. Now we know whose socks are whose. Such are the tiny dilemmas of a lesbian couple that has spent 13 years together. Thirteen years. Actually, the 13th anniversary of when we first met won't be until Dec. 28, but four years ago this month, we got married. So we celebrate our anniversary in August. Gay marriages make a lot of folks squeamish. Some try to salve their unease and maintain alliances with the gay community by saying they support "domestic partnerships" or legal contracts or commitment ceremonies or some other euphemism that they are certain is just like a marriage without having to soil the sacred term.
April 1, 2011
DEAR READERS: It's April 1, the day I get to share some of the occasional letters I receive from folks who are pulling my leg. Read on: DEAR ABBY: My wife of 23 years is threatening to divorce me on the grounds that I'm "unreasonable. " Is it unreasonable for me to attempt to keep my socks oriented to the proper feet? When I put my socks on the wrong feet, I run around in circles and become disoriented. I know that women don't have this problem because they wear pantyhose - so it's impossible to put them on the wrong feet.
February 21, 1997 |
Go to just about any South Jersey basketball game and you will notice the absence. Long a part of the game, this intrinsic element is disappearing like the sun over the horizon. The elders decry the loss with when-I-was-their-age harangues. You might be thinking about fundamentals, the 15-foot jump shot and dribbling with the opposite hand. We are talking, of course, about socks. "I think some of them don't even have any of them on," fretted Jackie Trakimas, the girls' basketball coach at Gloucester.
June 11, 1993 |
She was shy, really shy, a 6-year-old girl in a checked suit, with black shoes and frilly socks that folded over, standing in front of the desk in the Oval Office, holding hands with President Clinton while television lights shone and cameras clicked and whirred. It was, for the President, another in a series of afternoon photo opportunities, undoubtedly a small respite for a guy who's lately been attacked as being more of an expert on waffles than the kitchen staff at International House of Pancakes.
December 25, 2009 |
Doris Grossman is not one of those fluttery white-haired women who shy away from life's harsher truths. "I don't know if it's empathy or anger because we're involved in two wars," she says, "but I feel this is the right thing to do. " For the last two years, around Christmas, Grossman has been knitting socks for war amputees. Yesterday, the 82-year-old former assistant manager for a senior-citizen complex in Ventnor, N.J., was working on an oatmeal-tweed one, her 12th in the latest batch destined for the Philadelphia veterans hospital.
February 6, 1996 |
For a guy who didn't go anywhere, Donald Hildreth sure had a lot of socks. Hundreds of pairs of them, stuffed in a big duffle bag. Some were brand new, never worn. Had a lot of movie videos, too. Thousands. Stacked on shelves, piled in boxes. Mostly old classics: Bogart, Cagney, Wayne, Marx Brothers. The movie collection was understandable. Nobody can figure out the socks. Strange what you learn about a person after he dies. Donald Underwood Hildreth, 68, was buried last week from St. Rita's Church on South Broad, a few days after suffering a stroke.
August 5, 1998
Hail to you, Shari Lewis. You knew children well: How big and bright and scary the world can look to them, how smart they are, how ready to let their energy fly. You never spoke down to them, never shook your finger. Your teaching was considerate, oblique, via character and scene and jest. Your passing this week is an opportunity to remember one of the TV era's finest performers. Many of us first saw you in black and white in the late '50s. It might have been Captain Kangaroo.
January 8, 1996 |
The money mavens who follow Strawbridge & Clothier on Wall Street don't know about the S&C sock index. They, of course, are more interested in the stock price. But each year, even before the final Christmas-sales figures are in, the S&C sock index provides an important indicator of how the selling season's going. And this year, judging by the S&C sock index, the holiday was a tad lower than ho-hum. Here's how it works: It only sounds kinky, but each year, at the annual employee Christmas party and carol sing, the Strawbridge family executives like to show their workers their socks.
April 30, 1994 |
With all the fulminating and speculation over Whitewater and then the widespread incredulousness over the First Lady's uncanny ability to turn a quick $100,000 profit in cattle futures, one of the more revealing episodes in the short history of the Clinton administration has been largely overlooked by both the media and President Clinton's Republican antagonists. I refer to the curious tale of Socks the Cat. Surely you remember Socks? He was the cynosure of animal fanciers everywhere, the feline apotheosis of the American dream.
August 13, 1997 |
From the moment my son was born, barely two years after his sister, I was destined someday to become the father of two teenagers. That time has come. I realized that my children would come to dismiss my opinions and mock my sensitivities. I understood that they would adopt bizarre and outlandish fashions. I anticipated music that would strike me as anti-melodic, tasteless and, inevitably, too loud. I was prepared to be patronized, marginalized, confounded, ignored, confused, exploited and out-maneuvered.