Spandex

YOU KNOW HOW annoying it is when you're driving in the city and a group of bicyclists is taking up the road as if it owns it? (To make matters worse, they're usually wearing bright-green spandex shorts.) Tomorrow, Center City streets will taken over by hundreds of bikers led by Mayor Nutter to celebrate Bike to Work Day. So instead of being annoyed, keep your car home that day and join them. The Bicycle Coalition of Greater Philadelphia is sponsoring the ride to promote biking as healthy and green.

TV stations looking for a lively sports debate should book Jim Drucker and Jim Foster. The subject: how to market women's basketball. Drucker, president of Conshohocken-based Global Sports, thinks the leadership in women's basketball is shortsighted. Foster, coach of Vanderbilt's NCAA Final Four women's team, thinks Drucker should wake up and realize it's the 1990s. While Foster and others in women's hoops were excited about the 5.5 rating the Texas Tech-Ohio State final drew on CBS (one rating point equals 931,000 homes)

Weary of slacks that develop "knees" of their own after a brief wearing? Annoyed that your skirt no longer fits after only a few (well, maybe a dozen) holiday cookies? Dismayed at how fast your child grows out of clothes? Bent out of shape because your expensive cotton sweater is so bent out of shape it's no longer wearable? Help is not only on the way, it's already here. Welcome to the wonderful world of "stretch fabric," which really should be called "bounce-back fabric.

RACHEL VASS, 21, was hit with a wave of nausea and what she thought was the start of a heart attack when the Flyers'overtime "goal" was overturned by the referees. Her despair turned to joy moments later when the Flyers scored again - this time, there was no question - and pulled out a thrilling 4-3 victory over the visiting Chicago Blackhawks in Game 3 of the Stanley Cup Finals last night. "Now that felt good!" screamed Vass, of Haverford, as thousands of other Flyers fans erupted in cheers at the raucous Wachovia Center.

Through the hushed, white-marble sanctuary of the Lenin Museum, past the giant busts and heroic portraits of the founder of the Soviet state, glides a vision of the new Russia: six lovely, long-legged models dressed in black spandex outfits and high heels. The babushkas who guard this Communist shrine take little notice as the sleek young women sashay to the museum cafeteria, but there's no denying that something pretty strange is going on here: A modeling agency has moved into the third floor of the Lenin Museum on Red Square.

The men all paused and heads turned when Valerie McQueen and her sister Monica walked along Chamounix Drive in Fairmount Park. But the Atlantic City sisters paid no heed to the ogling and the racy comments thrown their way at the recent Greek Picnic, an annual gathering of members of predominantly black sororities and fraternities. "I just ignore them," said Valerie McQueen, 27. "I'm used to it. " She and her sister should be. For the last two summers, the McQueens, like many women - and men - have taken to stretching spandex over their flesh as a fashion statement.

Behind every Olympic figure skater there is a jittery costume designer praying that no zippers will pop nor sequins come unstrung when the champion soars into a double Axel or a triple Salchow this week in Calgary. "Of course, it has never happened, but you still get nervous," said Lauren MacDonald Sheehan, 32, a former competitive skater who designs the costumes for America's two ice princesses, Debi Thomas and Jill Trenary. "These competitions are so hard for me. . . . When I watch the girls, for a tiny instant I wish it were me out there.

It was a crowd big on baggy T-shirts, squirt bottles and green and pink caps - fluorescent, of course. But for some people, it was a chance to make a truly serious fashion statement. That meant wearing spandex or Lycra or whatever you choose to call something that is stretchy and tight-fitting. "You notice; people are dressed for the occasion," said Kathy Friedmann, 27, who was among those who turned out with their bikes and biking clothes for yesterday's CoreStates U.S. Pro Cycling Championship.

"I've got tickets. Circus tickets right here," hawked the scalper, slouching against a telephone pole just outside the Pattison Avenue subway stop. Sure enough, Ringling Brothers was putting on two shows at the Spectrum Saturday - but the day's biggest big top was across the way at John F. Kennedy Stadium. Behavior ranged from the clownish to the beastly as about 60,000 spectators joined five gleefully obnoxious "musical" groups for nine hours of raucous partying. Van Halen's Monsters of Rock, the first-ever touring heavy-metal festival, had pitched its tent in Philadelphia for the day. It wasn't the greatest show on Earth, but it was certainly one of the most grating.

As usual, Philadelphia University students wowed the crowd with sartorial design Saturday night at their annual fashion show at the Academy of Music. The designs were creative and included Rachael Crawford's taffeta dress inspired by Philadelphia Museum of Art's larger-than-life Roberto Capucci exhibit; Nikky Enterline's four-ply, silk, Marilyn Monroe-inspired cuffed pant; and Marisa Silva's candy pants and skirt grouping, fashioned from cotton, spandex and acrylic. Hats off to these winners: Katherine Possage's strapless gown won the Frank Agostino award for evening wear; and Jolene Cassell's urban punk-inspired collection made of leather, denim, spandex, silk, and cotton, winner of best senior collection.

Few shows in this Philly Fringe will plumb the depths of the human psyche more than Witold Gombrowicz's Ivona, Princess of Burgundia . When courtiers in this fictional kingdom encounter the hideous Ivona (Heather Cole), they find her passive ugliness increasingly disturbing, an unbearable affront. She returns their teasing malice with rage-inspiring apathy. Prince Phillip (David Stanger) turns ridicule into a ruse; he decides to marry the girl, throwing the royal family into a murderous fury.

Brandon Formanes stood on the worn wood floor inside the KIPP DuBois Collegiate Academy at 12th and Vine Streets Thursday morning, his hands running back and forth across his new Fuji SST 2.0. Black and blue spandex hugged his body, and sweat still shone from his shaved, thick arms and legs. Formanes, a junior coach in the Cadence Cycling Foundation, rode five miles from his Upper Darby home to the school. He stood before three KIPP students, sometimes answering questions, sometimes trying to motivate.

The folks at Lysse Leggings are a bit controlling when they design their mix-and-match stretch leggings and tank tops. The cotton/spandex leggings, which come in a choice of lengths and leg styles, incorporate a sewn-in polyester/spandex front panel that tightens the belly and smooths hips, without feeling super-binding. Available in regular and plus sizes, they have a 5-inch, high-rise waistband that helps reduce the belly-roll effect common with waistbands that sit at waist level.

For many women, the little black dress is a versatile travel staple. Now, here comes the little black-and-white travel wardrobe. Actually, what you get are five rayon spandex garments - black wide-leg pants, a black slip dress, white long-sleeve shirt, white tank top, and black poncho, plus two long sashes (one black, one white) - that can be used as belts, scarves, or whatever. The pieces can be combined in various ways to create 25 looks, from casual to night on the town. The set comes pre-packed in its own travel bag. Available in five sizes, 2 to 14. Just add shoes and underwear.

A joint production of "The Great American Trailer Park Musical" by 11th Hour Theatre Company and Montgomery Theater, staged at Montgomery Theater in Souderton in February, reopened Friday at the Arden in Center City. This is an excerpt from a review published in February. If you have spandex, prepare to wear it now. You'll look fab as The Great American Trailer Park Musical - a little show with a wallop like a bin full of hissing trailer propane tanks - sprawls gleefully across the stage.

As usual, Philadelphia University students wowed the crowd with sartorial design Saturday night at their annual fashion show at the Academy of Music. The designs were creative and included Rachael Crawford's taffeta dress inspired by Philadelphia Museum of Art's larger-than-life Roberto Capucci exhibit; Nikky Enterline's four-ply, silk, Marilyn Monroe-inspired cuffed pant; and Marisa Silva's candy pants and skirt grouping, fashioned from cotton, spandex and acrylic. Hats off to these winners: Katherine Possage's strapless gown won the Frank Agostino award for evening wear; and Jolene Cassell's urban punk-inspired collection made of leather, denim, spandex, silk, and cotton, winner of best senior collection.

If you have spandex, prepare to wear it now. You'll look fab in your seat at Montgomery Theater in Souderton, where The Great American Trailer Park Musical - a little show with a big wallop, like a bin full of hissing trailer propane tanks - sprawls gleefully across the stage. It's an all-American hoot, as kitsch as a teased 'do on an '80s soap-opera heroine. And it brazenly dismisses social convention - in this trailer park's community garden, not a single stereotype goes untended.

"IT NEEDS a bigger horn and more eye makeup," Tip Flannery said, eyeing a 5-foot-tall pink My Little Pony on wheels. Flannery is the captain of the Vaudevillains NYB, a 4-year-old Comics Brigade that is headquartered out of the art collective Space 1026. The pony's name is Seymour. And, he will be ridden by the spirit of William Penn. Naturally. The Vaudevillains' theme this year is the Philly Phantasy Phorest and, along with Billy Penn and Seymour, their motley crew will include trees made of purple dip-dyed stretch velvet with neon-yellow leaves and a menagerie of real and imaginary animals.

A story July 12 misspelled the name of Jim Lesser, chief executive officer of Simple Brands, a Conshohocken company that makes wine kiosks. A review Monday of a concert by Kiss should have said that the band returned to wearing makeup, spandex, and platform boots in the mid-1990s to give its fans what they wanted to see. A story Saturday about a new trial being ordered for Guy A. Sileo Jr., convicted of killing his business partner at...

RACHEL VASS, 21, was hit with a wave of nausea and what she thought was the start of a heart attack when the Flyers'overtime "goal" was overturned by the referees. Her despair turned to joy moments later when the Flyers scored again - this time, there was no question - and pulled out a thrilling 4-3 victory over the visiting Chicago Blackhawks in Game 3 of the Stanley Cup Finals last night. "Now that felt good!" screamed Vass, of Haverford, as thousands of other Flyers fans erupted in cheers at the raucous Wachovia Center.