Suri

IN TODAY'S top story, People magazine reports that Katie Holmes had an epidural. So while Tom Cruise has reportedly reached the exalted stage of Thetan in Scientology, Katie has merely reached the less-exalted status of Wimp. In other birth-of-the-century news, Katie reportedly left the still-unnamed hospital within 24 hours of the birth. All you women with HMOs who got the boot in similar time should now feel better. If one is to believe the story in the Star, one of the reasons Katie may have bolted from the maternity ward was to make sure Tom didn't kidnap the newborn.

Uh -oh. This time it's serious. Tie up the hosses, herd the women and children indoors, load that rifle, and get out in the road. Tom Cruise is suing the publisher of two magazines that said he had abandoned 6-year-old daughter Suri following his separation and divorce from Katie Holmes . His rep, Bert Fields , said he filed a lawsuit in an L.A. court seeking $50 million from German guys Bauer Media, publishers of celeb-rags In...

Photographs of The Child Suri, whose countenance has yet to be beheld by noncelebs, will be revealed "shortly," more than three months after her April 18 birth. So vows Tom Cruise rep Arnold Robinson, who tells MSNBC.com the Mission: Impossible star "hasn't been reluctant" in the least about showing off his celeb baby to rabid fans and grubby gossipmongers. "They will be making a decision to release the photographs shortly," says Robinson, who adds that the Cruise Team still has to decide (negotiate?

THERE'S BEEN a Suri sighting. Sort of. Leah Remini ("The King of Queens") tells People that she saw the 3-month-old infant during a visit to Casa Cruise. As would be expected, Remini, a fellow Scientologist, gushed. "She's a beaming baby. She looks like Tom and Katie, she's just beautiful," she said. Like Tom and Katie? Cruise and Holmes are "just great parents," Remini added. "There wasn't a second she was out of their arms except when I held her. " Charity really begins at home Nearly 20 years ago, producer Jon Peters ("Superman Returns")

"I met Suri. " That extraordinary admission comes from Penelope Cruz, the third person who has seen the invisible girl, allegedly birthed by Katie Holmes, and returned to tell about it. "She is really beautiful, she is really special. One of the most beautiful babies I have ever seen," said Cruz, in so hyperbolic a tone, one wonders what awful truth is being hidden. "They are really happy and doing great. " Suri was born April 18. Her existence exemplifies one of the oldest philosophical questions: "If a movie star's baby falls in the forest and there's no one there to see it, does it exist?"

Newly divorced Tom Cruise is determined to minimize the impact that his split from Katie Holmes will have on their 6-year-old daughter, Suri, reports People magazine. "He's going to try, despite all the attention, to have things be as normal as possible," Anon Source tells the mag. Cruise, who has been filming in California, visited New York on Tuesday and did normal dad-daughter things, like climbing into a helicopter for a jaunt somewhere. "It's going to be challenging," Source says.

IT MUST HAVE been hard living in the shadow of "Mission: Impossible" star Tom Cruise. But the proverbial final straw, the thing that may have prompted Katie Holmes to file for divorce from Cruise, may have been the latter's reported insistence on sending the couple's daughter, Suri, to a boot-camp-style program designed to indoctrinate her in the teachings of Scientology. Cruise is said to be a big fan of Sea Org, as it's known. Humph. Ain't no man worth all that. If reports that that is what's behind the split are accurate, it's no wonder why Katie Holmes finally packed her things and moved into a new New York City apartment with her 6-year-old daughter.

Expect to gorge on months of sleazy TomKat divorce news? Wise up: That most awesome breakup circus sideshow is tragically over. Katie Holmes ' lawyer, Jonathan Wolfe , on Monday said the duo had reached a civil, perhaps even pleasant solution to their sham, er, loving marriage. What's more, in a joint statement TomKat masterfully shut down all the chatter about the fate of daughter Suri , 6, whose level of exposure to Tom's faith, Scientology, was an issue in the breakup.

Is the Church of Scientology to blame for the collapse of the TomKat corporeal merger? The Los Angeles Times says Dawson's Creek sweetie turned Tom Cruise vassal Katie Holmes , 33, left her man in part because she felt the church controlled her life. Literally: Celebuzz says TomKat's household staff is handpicked by the church, which also dictates Tom's work decisions. Things came to a head, says TMZ, when Tom insisted their daughter, Suri , 6, be sent to live at Sea Org, a reportedly boot-camplike center where kids get an intensive course in L. Ron Hubbard 's teachings.

So just what is left of Nick Lachey now that Jessica Simpson and her Chicken of the Sea chicken sandwiches and The Newlyweds are no longer part of his life? Is he only half the man he used to be? Sharing on Ryan Seacrest's radio show yesterday, Lachey said recording his new album, What's Left of Me (No. 2 on the charts), and especially the poignant single "I Can't Hate You Anymore," a song about Jess, helped him get over the breakup. "I'm not going to be that angry guy," Lachey said to Seacrest.

Uh -oh. This time it's serious. Tie up the hosses, herd the women and children indoors, load that rifle, and get out in the road. Tom Cruise is suing the publisher of two magazines that said he had abandoned 6-year-old daughter Suri following his separation and divorce from Katie Holmes . His rep, Bert Fields , said he filed a lawsuit in an L.A. court seeking $50 million from German guys Bauer Media, publishers of celeb-rags In...

Newly divorced Tom Cruise is determined to minimize the impact that his split from Katie Holmes will have on their 6-year-old daughter, Suri, reports People magazine. "He's going to try, despite all the attention, to have things be as normal as possible," Anon Source tells the mag. Cruise, who has been filming in California, visited New York on Tuesday and did normal dad-daughter things, like climbing into a helicopter for a jaunt somewhere. "It's going to be challenging," Source says.

Expect to gorge on months of sleazy TomKat divorce news? Wise up: That most awesome breakup circus sideshow is tragically over. Katie Holmes ' lawyer, Jonathan Wolfe , on Monday said the duo had reached a civil, perhaps even pleasant solution to their sham, er, loving marriage. What's more, in a joint statement TomKat masterfully shut down all the chatter about the fate of daughter Suri , 6, whose level of exposure to Tom's faith, Scientology, was an issue in the breakup.

Is the Church of Scientology to blame for the collapse of the TomKat corporeal merger? The Los Angeles Times says Dawson's Creek sweetie turned Tom Cruise vassal Katie Holmes , 33, left her man in part because she felt the church controlled her life. Literally: Celebuzz says TomKat's household staff is handpicked by the church, which also dictates Tom's work decisions. Things came to a head, says TMZ, when Tom insisted their daughter, Suri , 6, be sent to live at Sea Org, a reportedly boot-camplike center where kids get an intensive course in L. Ron Hubbard 's teachings.

IT MUST HAVE been hard living in the shadow of "Mission: Impossible" star Tom Cruise. But the proverbial final straw, the thing that may have prompted Katie Holmes to file for divorce from Cruise, may have been the latter's reported insistence on sending the couple's daughter, Suri, to a boot-camp-style program designed to indoctrinate her in the teachings of Scientology. Cruise is said to be a big fan of Sea Org, as it's known. Humph. Ain't no man worth all that. If reports that that is what's behind the split are accurate, it's no wonder why Katie Holmes finally packed her things and moved into a new New York City apartment with her 6-year-old daughter.

All the celebrisphere is abuzz with the sad yet long-expected news. Katie Holmes, 33, and Tom Cruise, 49, are divorcing, according to People mag and their reps. Reports from the front say she's hired a lawyer, filed the papers on Thursday — five days before the guy turns 50 — and wants sole custody of their daughter, Suri, 6. That renewed the notion, passed along by TMZ.com, that Katie didn't want Suri to get involved in Tom's Scientology (to which, BTW, Kate did convert). Poor Tom. He was evidently clueless about Katie's intentions, according to TMZ As evidence, the Web site ran pics of the two strolling hand in hand in Iceland just two weeks ago, with smiles that suggest no impending nastiness.

Tom Cruise was in New York this week to do something besides promote "Rock of Ages. "   He received the fourth-ever Friars Club Entertainment Icon Award, placing him in the same company as Douglas Fairbanks, Cary Grant and Frank Sinatra — so the Friars don't give them out to often. Best of all, Tom didn't have to listen to a bunch of old Catskill comics make fun of him. The evening was all about how great Cruise is. Alec Baldwin presided at the Waldorf-Astoria, where speakers included such former co-stars as Cuba Gooding Jr. and Kevin Pollak.

Forget the Actors Studio: It doesn't get more Method than Tom Cruise , says Jon Bon Jovi . The rocker tells celeb TV show Extra that Suri 's papa was really nervous about playing a rock star in his new pic, Rock of Ages , an adaptation of Chris D'Arienzo 's Broadway musical. Tom really wanted to be that man, man. So the Cocktail star turned to Bon Jovi for some schooling. "[Cruise] and I actually went out and he was very intense about 'How do you do this?

From life to art and back to life and back again to art: Such is the merry-go-round, the mise en abyme of life in our Twitterific post-post-pre-modern era. Ask Arnold Schwarzenegger . California's former boss says he is keeping his media title, The Governator , in his post-political, re-thespian era: Arnold plans to star as an animated superhero named The Governator. "The word Governator combined two worlds: the world of politics and the movie world," Arnold, 63, tells Entertainment Weekly.

Jerry Lee Lewis turns 75 on Sept. 29. But he's not ready to retire. "I could have retired a long time ago," the self-described "Southern boy" tells USA Today. He punches his fist in the air: "I keep rockin'!" Lewis, who divorced his sixth wife in '05, says he probably won't marry again. And even though his songs were once called the devil's music, Lewis says he's still "a religious man. . . . I never lost my connection, and I'm looking forward to going to heaven.