Tastykakes

Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat. As a matter of fact, Hanukkah is coming, too. And so is Kwanzaa. And New Year's Eve. And New Year's Day. We find ourselves in the midst of the holiday stretch, which translates into groaning boards and feasting. So it is probably fitting that many people are sending their friends and relatives gifts that truly reflect the season: They're ordering, and sending out, food, food, and more food. From old-fashioned candies to the latest in brownies.

When the outraged peasantry of 18th century Paris stormed the Bastille, it touched off the French Revolution. They might have spared Marie Antoinette's head if she had had the foresight to import some of Philadelphia's famous packaged pastry.

There is no Matisse, no Gauguin or Pissarro, not even a Morisot hanging in the art collection of the Tasty Baking Co. in North Philadelphia. But should the venerable purveyor of Tastykakes wish to be as kind to the Philadelphia Museum of Art as Sara Lee Corp. has been to the Art Institute of Chicago and 19 other U.S. museums, some fine works could one day hang in public view. Gnomes, for instance. Those cute little figures that graced Tastykakes posters and packaging in the 1950s, 1960s and 1970s.

To generations of Philadelphians, Tastykake has meant mostly Krimpets, chocolate cupcakes and Kandy Kakes. Sure, you can get goodies ranging from teeny doughnuts to honey buns to oatmeal raisin bars with the Tasty label on them. If you look hard enough, you can even find them as far away as West Virginia. But for the most part, North Philadelphia's Tasty Baking Co. has stuck pretty close to its culinary and geographic roots. Now, Tasty is beginning to branch out. In its future are expanded product lines, coast-to-coast distribution and direct competition with national snack-food heavyweights like Kellogg and Nabisco.

As with fine wine, Bridget Gallagher savors the aroma, the flavor, the texture of that Philadelphia delicacy, the Butterscotch Krimpet. She takes a modest bite. Her eyes narrow in concentration. She tilts her head back and chews purposefully. Bridget Gallagher is the top taste-tester at Tasty Baking Co. If they were truthful, most consumers of Tastykakes would probably describe the way they eat a Tastykake as snarf, inhale or wolf. To Gallagher, eating a Tastykake is a science.

Admit it. You've been curious. You've seen the new low-fat Tastykakes - the ones with the bold green stripe on the box - and wondered if they measure up to the old favorites that Mom used to pack with your school lunch. A low-fat Tastykake is something of an oxymoron, like a jumbo shrimp. But the way consumers have been gobbling up Snackwells and other low-fat cookie lines, the Hunting Park-based Tasty Baking Co. saw an opportunity. In October, it launched a new line of Tastykakes with fewer fat grams and reduced cholesterol: Krimpets with lemon, apple or raspberry fillings; Koffee Kakes with the same choice of fillings; and Creme Filled Vanilla and Chocolate Cupcakes with chocolate icing.

In these nutritionally correct times, nothing is sacred. Not even the Krimpet. Tasty Baking Co., the Philadelphia snack-cake baker, has introduced a new line of eight low-fat snacks, including Krimpets, Koffee Kakes and creme- filled cupcakes. It is hard to imagine Tastykakes in a world gone lite - with their signature sugar jolt and that thin layer of greasy cake that clings to the plastic wrapper until swabbed out by a sticky finger. "There's still a market for people who love Tastykakes the way they are, but the fat-free and low-fat products are growing.

WHAT'S AN AVERAGE YEAR'S WORTH OF BOOZING? a) 2 1/4 gallons of wines and spirits b) 5 1/2 gallons c) 12 gallons WHAT'S AVERAGE FOR RECYCLING? a) 3 pounds every two weeks b) 7 1/2 pounds c) 17 pounds HOW MANY LOAVES OF BREAD DOES THE AVERAGE FAMILY EAT IN A WEEK? a) 1 b) 2 3) 3 HOW MANY LIBRARY BOOKS DOES THE AVERAGE PHILADELPHIAN CHECK OUT IN A YEAR? a) 5 b) 8 c) 12 Average? That's Denver or Atlanta.

Apparently the Teamsters were not the icing on the cake. Hourly workers who make TastyKakes yesterday overwhelmingly rejected efforts by the Teamsters to unionize the plant. The company has been union- free for all of its 80 years. The final tally after Wednesday's balloting was 233 in favor of the union and 442 against. Members of Teamsters Local 115, who led an eight-month drive at the plant, said they would fight what they called unfair labor practices that intimidated workers into believing a union could threaten the company.

There's trouble in cupcakes. Dissent down in donuts. And in pies, they say they are scared. The folks who brighten thousands of childrens' lunch boxes with butterscotch Krimpets and Kandy Kakes are angry. So angry they are trying to unionize one of the city's oldest businesses - TastyKake. Yesterday, hundreds of Tasty Baking Co.'s hourly workers poured into the company's loading areas, voting on whether to become members of Teamsters Union Local No. 115. Polling ended at 12:30 a.m. today, and the vote count will not be completed until today.