August 14, 2016
Never Before Noon By Joanne McLaughlin Eternal. 340 pp. $14.95 Reviewed by Katherine Ramsland Your parents, whom you despise, decide to end their lives. Oh, and they also disclose that they're vampires. But they're not altogether sure whether you're "like them. " Those are the stakes in Joanne McLaughlin's new novel, one of the "new romance" novels in the vampire genre. By "new romance," I mean the post- Fifty Shades kind that includes regular bouts of heated sex, not the kind that arises from emotional need.
February 27, 2016 |
Female Oscar nominees will leave Sunday's ceremony with a promotional swag bag that includes a certificate good for a free Vampire Breast Lift, a $1,900 procedure that promises to "use your blood to rejuvenate your breasts. " Invented by Charles Runels, the physician behind Kim Kardashian's grisly vampire facial (Google it, if you're feeling strong), the procedure involves taking the patients' own blood, spinning it down to separate the platelets, then injecting the blood into the breast cleavage in the hope that certain human growth factors will tighten up the patient's breast tissues.
October 9, 2015 |
AS THE TITLE promises, there is indeed widespread mobster slaughter in "Yakuza Apocalypse," but that ain't the half of it. Some of the mobsters are vampires, so they are invincible in battle, and can hack up enemies with impunity. This gore makes them thirsty, so they commence to feeding on people. And because the movie is subtitled, whenever a vampire bites into the neck flesh of a victim, we get this helpful prompt: "Suck!" Subtitles, though, don't help us understand very much of what happens.
April 25, 2014 |
IN "Only Lovers Left Alive," it's the end of the world as Jim Jarmusch knows it, and he doesn't feel fine. The bohemian deadpan minimalist is in the cranky old man phase of his career - "Lovers" has the sour mood of a guy who feels like he's been around too long, witnessed the decline of humanity and also wants the kid next door turn to down the blasted rap music. These feelings find expression in the movie's central idea of bored immortals - "Only Lovers Left Alive" is Jarmusch's vampire flick.
March 13, 2014
WE ONCE called the Board of Revision of Taxes flesh-eating zombies. That was back in 2010, when the BRT filed a lawsuit in the state Supreme Court challenging the city's ability to abolish it, prompted by decades of patronage, mismanagement and arbitrary property assessments. The city, with the support of voters, split the BRT into two, separating its property-assessment function from its appeals function. When the city tried to gain control of the appeals function, the BRT balked, and the court backed them.
February 9, 2014 |
Ever since Twilight convinced tweens that vampires were hot and fangs a girl's best friend, the multiplex hasn't been safe for honest, blood-soaked, vampires-are-nasty movies. Instead, we're served limp fare like Vampire Academy , a silly fizzle of red corpuscle-spiked froth from Freaky Friday and Mean Girls director Mark Waters. Adapted from the first installment of Richelle Mead's six-novel young adult series, Vampire Academy is a derivative magic 'n' monsters teen rom-com that mixes the not-so-risqué sexuality of Twilight with the high school histrionics of Mean Girls and plops it all down at a Harry Potter -ish school of magic.
October 4, 2013 |
* THE MILLERS. 8:30 tonight, CBS3. * WELCOME TO THE FAMILY. 8:30 tonight, NBC10. * SEAN SAVES THE WORLD. 9:30 tonight, NBC10. * THE ORIGINALS. 9 tonight, CW57. Moves to 8 p.m. Tuesdays next week. "OH, RELAX. It's a fart. Some people think they're funny. " That's Margo Martindale's character talking with her uptight son (Will Arnett) in the premiere tonight of CBS' "The Millers. " But it might as well be the Emmy-winning Martindale addressing fans who loved her as the poisonous Mags Bennett in "Justified" and the ruthless Russian handler Claudia in the FX spy drama "The Americans" and who can't quite get their heads around the idea that she's been reduced to CBS sitcom flatulence.
September 22, 2013 |
'Wisdom's a gift, but you'd trade it for youth," Ezra Koenig of Vampire Weekend sang on the Skyline Stage of the Mann Center for the Performing Arts on Thursday. "Age is an honor, but it's still not the truth. " Since releasing its debut album in 2008, Vampire Weekend have fit the definition of a postcollegiate indie-pop band. Famously, the four members met while matriculating at Columbia University. It's likely that the words "Ivy League" have appeared alongside the band's name more than any other act in the history of rock-and-roll.
June 28, 2013 |
"BYZANTIUM" doesn't breathe new life into the weary vampires-on-the-run / young-vampires-in-love formulas. But Neil Jordan ("Interview with the Vampire," "The Crying Game") still manages to return this sort of tale to the realm of adults, with the meaty themes and grim, gory violence that "Twilight" scrubbed out. Saoirse Ronan plays our heroine, Eleanor, the young woman who narrates the tale in snippets of memoir that she writes and then throws away. Why? "My story can never be told," she narrates.
May 18, 2013 |
The last of this week's broadcast upfronts was by The CW, whose brand is young, fresh, and hip. Fittingly, The CW's presentation at New York's City Center on Thursday opened with Icona Pop performing the infectious "I Love It. " The network's new schedule includes superpowered teens, vampires, and . . . Mary, Queen of Scots? A series about 16th-century royalty - didn't see that one coming. Despite the departures of Gossip Girl and 90210 , and the looming expiration of Nikita , it is a typically modest harvest of new shows (three dramas)