Woe

It has been two years since Geraldine A. Ferraro's historic campaign for the vice presidency ended in resounding defeat, and nine months since she announced that she would not run for the U.S. Senate in New York. But the legal woes that have beset her family grew even more serious last week with the indictment of her husband, John A. Zaccaro, apparently on charges of trying to use political influence in 1981 to broker the contract for a cable television franchise in Queens. Zaccaro has denied any wrongdoing.

It's hard to believe that former Gov. Dick Thornburgh's persistent mispronunciation of his Democratic opponent's name wasn't intentional. The Republican candidate for Senate insists he was calling Sen. Harris Wofford (WOFF-erd) "WOE-ford" and "WOOF-erd" because he has "trouble with names. " Getting names right is a skill every politician develops and hones to a fine art. If nothing else, Dick Thornburgh is a good politician. Even if he really does have trouble with names, it defies credibility that such a seasoned campaigner wouldn't have made a point of learning his opponent's name.

The most frustrating part of this job is being unable to do something for a troubled soul who has a problem and cries out to a newspaper for help. The harsh fact of life is that there are some problems for which there are no easy solutions. And the most we can do is offer comforting words. And I felt this frustration in reading a poignant letter sent to me by Susan Waitkus, of Chicago's Morgan Park neighborhood. I hope I don't ruin your day with this tale of woe. But her story should be shared because it could happen to others.

Because his tale of woe pried dollars from Philadelphia passersby, Nick Jerome Ward has been arrested on 'flimflam' charges. These are some American flimflammers who have not been arrested: Neil Bush Alan Cranston Oliver North

An open letter to our customers: First, we'd like to extend a heartfelt thanks to you, our customers, for choosing us. We appreciate your patronage and promise to provide the service, reliability and convenience you've come to expect. Now to the matter at hand: our recent merger with the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania. We feel this merger is in the best interests of all parties involved, and we feel that the joining of our companies with the state will deliver more goods and services faster to a wider number of people.

I am writing to protest the advertisement of condoms on television and in the newspapers. I think and feel it is disgraceful and outrageous. It is a blatant abuse of promoting immorality. It promotes promiscuity. It is offensive to Almighty God and to all of His people. It promotes fornication as being all right instead of sinful. God says that fornication is worshiping false gods. It demeans and destroys family life and values. The big lie and deception is that you are hoping to stop AIDS.

Flash. After six weeks of campaigning for the U.S. Senate, Dick Thornburgh is finally learning how to pronounce his opponent's name. Let's face it. Harris Wofford wasn't exactly a household name, even after Gov. Casey appointed him in May to replace the late Sen. John Heinz. The front-running Thornburgh campaign gleefully spilled forth after Labor Day with two versions: WOE-ford, as in, woe is him. And WOOF-erd, as in, howling at the door. Both suggested a hapless candidate, so anonymous that voters wouldn't know the difference anyway.

Sheen has woe on top of woe Charlie Sheen, accused of assaulting his wife, Brooke Mueller, on Christmas Day in Aspen, Colo., has another headache. His Mercedes SUV was stolen yesterday from his Sherman Oaks, Calif., home. Police, who found the abandoned vehicle in a ravine in the wee hours of the morning, were investigating. Meanwhile, TMZ says authorities in Colorado plan to charge the Two and a Half Men star with felony menacing and misdemeanor assault. Tidbits 'n' pieces A vid is making its way around the Web showing Ke$ha and her pals using sheets and paint to change the iconic Hollywood sign into Ke$hawood.

THE CORNER of Judson and Norris streets had been left behind by the New Economy - until Sister Mary Scullion, founder and director of Project H.O.M.E., got working on it. Scullion has raised $2 million to build a three-story technology learning center on a vacant lot on the southwest corner of Judson and Norris as part of her 10-year effort to revitalize this blighted section of North Central Philadelphia. The tech center will provide neighborhood children with the opportunity to gain the same technological skills as children from more affluent areas.

The Academy of Natural Sciences was supposed to find joy in WOE, revel in it, live on it for years. But WOE - "What on Earth!," a $1.2 million earth-sciences exhibition unveiled amid great fanfare at the end of 1991 - proved to be riddled with grief. In a word, WOE bombed. With museum attendance and related programs sagging,the academy took action: In 1994, it quietly shuttered the newest "permanent" exhibit after only 2 1/2 years. WOE is but one public example of the distress - some might say turmoil - afflicting the oldest continuously operating natural-history institution in the nation.

The return of Cliff Lee from the disabled list was more than a sliver of light in these darkest of days for the Phillies. It was more than a silver lining, too. Watching this offensively inconsistent team that is short on sluggers, rail thin in the bullpen and challenged defensively, it's easy to forget that the Phillies' starting rotation is still the gold standard in the National League. You might not want to hear that after another monumental bullpen collapse allowed the New York Mets to complete a three-game sweep Wednesday night with a 10-6 victory at an increasingly hostile Citizens Bank Park.

Despite the Philadelphia School District's ongoing budget turmoil, the show will go on Thursday night as more than 200 of the most talented middle-school musicians take the stage for the annual All Philadelphia Middle School Music Festival. This year's concert features musicians selected through auditions from 50 city schools. They'll play classical and contemporary pieces, including a Vivaldi concerto and a tribute to Ray Charles, at South Philly's Girard Academic Music Program, according to Virginia Lam, the district's content specialist for music education.

Oil-industry experts told a congressional panel on Thursday that regulations requiring more ethanol in motor fuel and setting stricter federal emission standards have driven some refineries out of business. A Joint Economic Committee hearing in Washington on the effect of the closure of Philadelphia area refineries turned into a broad-spectrum denunciation of federal environmental mandates. U.S. Sen. Robert Casey (D., Pa.), the committee's chairman, called the hearing in response to moves by ConocoPhillips and Sunoco Inc. to sell or shut down their Philadelphia area refineries.

CLEVELAND — Any coach in any sport at any level must possess a large amount of patience if he is going to be successful. Doug Collins must have a reserve tank of it. How else could he still have his sanity after getting practically no production from starting shooting guard Jodie Meeks the past couple of weeks? But Collins keeps putting Meeks out there, night after night, with the hope that the streakiness that makes up the Kentucky product's shooting will take a major turn upward.

It is the hope of all involved with the 76ers that when the team reconvenes Friday morning for practice at the Philadelphia College of Osteopathic Medicine, something positive might be culled from the travesty that took place in their last game. After a 99-78 thrashing by the Toronto Raptors on Wednesday night at the Wells Fargo Center, the Sixers (29-25) are no longer as concerned as they once were about winning the Atlantic Division title. They are more focused on just qualifying for the playoffs.

CLEARWATER, Fla. - There is concern about Mike Stutes' balky shoulder, but even more about a muddled Phillies bullpen picture less than one week until the 2012 season starts. Stutes was scratched from his scheduled appearance Friday because of right shoulder stiffness. He had been dealing with it for at least a week and originally thought it was normal spring training tightness. But it persisted. "I finally had to say something," Stutes said. Stutes, 25, was considered a lock for a bullpen job even with a shaky spring.

HOW DID the Philadelphia School District get into its current financial bind, with $26 million left to cut by June and a gap of up to $400 million for next year? "Bad fiscal policy," School Reform Commission Chairman Pedro Ramos told City Council on Tuesday, the most pointed such admission he has made since joining the SRC last year. In the past, the district has borrowed a lot of money. And when it was flush with cash from the federal stimulus package and state coffers, it spent a lot, too, on salaries, benefits and new programs it now can't afford to keep going.

It comes in an eye-popping shade of orange and zooms from 0 to 60 m.p.h. in less than four seconds with a feature called "launch control" on its way to a top speed of 200 m.p.h. - if you dare. And most buyers come to Chester County's sleek new McLaren Philadelphia dealership insisting on the fully loaded model at more than $300,000, or roughly 50 percent more than the current median price of a house in the region. Who buys such a pricey set of wheels when so many are standing in unemployment lines, drowning in underwater mortgages, and feeding their families with food stamps?

WASHINGTON - Floods and water shortages in the next 30 years will make it hard for many countries to keep up with growing demand for fresh water, particularly in South Asia, the Middle East, and North Africa, the U.S. intelligence community reported Thursday. Water problems in the next decade will add to instability in countries that are important to U.S. national security, the report said. Floods and shortages also will make it hard for some countries to grow enough food or produce enough energy, creating risk for global food markets and slowing economic growth.

The 76ers would like nothing more than to sweep into Madison Square Garden and add to the slumping New York Knicks' woes with a win in Sunday's matinee. When the Atlantic Division-leading Sixers dropped an 85-79 decision to the Knicks (18-22) at the Garden on Jan. 11, Jeremy Lin never took off his warm-ups. Lin, the Harvard point guard who now starts for the Knicks, became the talk of the sports world when he led New York to seven straight wins in February. The Knicks looked primed to catch the Sixers and even looked as if they might win the division.